Chexy's Fashion Report

If anyone tells you that you look terrific in a suit with short pants, don't believe them unless you are under age 4.

This caution apparently did not reach douchily-suited Lorenzo Martone and his designer boyfriend Marc Jacobs, who attended the Veuve Clicquot Manhattan Polo Classic in New York City.

This has been Chexy's Fashion Report, Little Lord Fauntleroy edition.

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

Oh, it's a great big gay Saturday Matinee! Here's an edumacational cartoon!




Imagine a world without gays... a lot less faaaaaaaaabulous.




Doris Day... with Secret Love... from "Calamity Jane."



And here's the gayest thing ever... no, it's not Adam Lambert... it's Judy, Barbra and Ethel Merman. If you like this, you could very well be gay.



Happy Birthday Auntlers

Camilla and the Mascot

A sneaker mascot for osteoporosis examines HRH, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, to see what's holding her up.


It's not her brassiere.


Photos by Indigo/Getty Images

Goodbye, Phil

Meshuggeneh gun enthusiast and "Wall of Sound" creator Phil Spector, 69, will likely spend the rest of his miserable life behind prison walls, after just being sentenced to 19 years to life for murdering actress Lana Clarkson in his foyer. The defense claimed that she walked into his house, grabbed a gun, had a seat, and shot herself in the mouth.


And now, the Spector-produced "Be My Baby" with the Ronettes.




Mug: L.A. Sheriff
Lana: LanaClarkson.com

JFK Not 92 Today

John F. Kennedy, born on this day in 1917... and a plate from the Chexy collection. I have service for six in this one.


for Gina

Camilla and the Cow

Her Royal Highness, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall (left with Chaz) and the winning cow (right with farmer) at the Royal Bath and West Farm Show in England.

She was selected for her power, breed character and good locomotion. (The cow.)

It's Not Over Until...

... Susan Boyle sings. Saturday night.

Jay Leno's last Tonight show is Friday, he moves to 10 PM, but I still won't watch him.

Glam and Dunk

Our long national nightmare is almost over. Adam and whatshisname appeared on the Today show yesterday, along with one-time Gerald Ford assassin wannabe Sara Jane Moore. Now the wailing duo will make a few more talk show appearances, then start the Idol summer tour on July 5.


It's Sara I want to see more of. Adam will reportedly be on the cover of Rolling Stone -- saying, "Yup, I'm Gay." Shock.

Dame Edna Hits L.A.

I'm beside myself with joy... my favorite, Dame Edna is appearing in Los Angeles, and I'll be seeing her for the third time -- will take Auntie Jean with me because she's on the outs with Margo-Lynnae again, and this will cheer her. Here's Dame Edna last night with Jay Leno... and Wanda Sykes.

Prop 8 Protest

Here's 3 minutes of the march on Tuesday night in West Hollywood.

Zac Efron at Lakers Game

Zac Efron skipped his shampooing for a front row seat at the Lakers game on Wednesday, where he marveled at his tight pants and tiny knees.

For those keeping track, the Lakers won. How exciting.

I think this has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Teen Idol edition.

La Femme Nikita

Celebubaby Harlow Winter Kate Madden, and Cold War Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev. So alike, and yet only one is related to Nicole Richie.

Chexy's Sports Roundup

James Hook wings it at a training session for the British and Irish Lions in Johannesburg, South Africa.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Everybody Charleston! edition.


Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images

The Lovely Princess Eugenie

Her Royal Highness, Princess Eugenie of York, 19, granddaughter of Betty Deuce, attends an event in support of the Hong Kong Down Syndrome Association in London.

The Princess will attend Williams College in Massachusetts this fall. Her mother is Weight Watchers spokeswoman Sarah Ferguson, who divorced her father, Prince Andrew.

Eugenie and her girlfriends were mugged while traveling in Cambodia this month.

Photo by Indigo/Getty Images

Sydney Opera House Lights Up

Here's something they need to do to the ghastly Beverly Center. Musician Brian Eno, who created the Microsoft Sound, created this changing light work projected onto Sydney Opera House, bringing a little color to the Australian winter.


Photos by Sergio Dionisio/Getty Images

Camilla and the Jungle

Did Prince Chaz finally dump Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall in the middle of the jungle?

Yup! Naw. That's just her highness on a walk home after visiting the restored Double Bridge.

Restoration of the bridge used old bits of Camilla's hair as part of the support structure, and as you can see, she let them have her bra as well.


Photo by Anwar Hussein/WireImage

California Takes Giant Step Backward

The Supreme Court of California has upheld Prop. 8, the hate initiative funded largely by conservative Christian groups, mainly the Mormons and Knights of Columbus. In an interesting twist, the marriages of 18,000 same-sex couples who married during the brief period when it was legal in California will remain valid in the eyes of the law.

This means a whole new ballot initiative to overturn Prop. 8, pitting gay rights activists against religious haters in either 2010 or 2011. Five other states have legalized gay marriage.

Equality for all is once again precluded by ignorance fueled by religious zealots. All of the justices on the CA Supreme Court are Republican appointees.

Twitter TV

Twitter has a TV show in development. And if these twittered pix of Demi Moore toothless at the dentist are any indication of the thrill of such a program, I say, bring it!

The program will apparently elevate stalking celebs through their tweets to a game of some sort. All indications are that live ammunition will not be used.

I suppose Facebook TV is next. Oh yes, Chexy likes this. It's almost as good as playing computer Solitaire. Almost.

Peggy Lee

Here's a good way to start your work week... remembering Miss Peggy Lee, who was born 89 years ago today. She left us in 2002. Here's a wild clip with Peggy, Sarah Vaughan, Roberta Flack and a slim Aretha Franklin in a 1973 tribute to Duke Ellington... with some serious gownage.

Amy and the Memorial Day Pageant

My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, was cast in her school's year-end Memorial Day pageant, and was happy to snag the role of The Statue of Liberty. Yes, I know, she's big for six. It's a big statue.


Amy turned to Uncle Brian and Charlie to make her costume, and they were only too happy to oblige. Brian had to stop Charlie from sculpting the statue's base as well, despite Charlie's protest against not including the poem by Emma Lazarus. Amy said they "had a big fight about huddled masses learning to eat free."


And speaking of eating free, after the pageant, Carolyn (left) and Fahd (right) took Amy and her friends Angelo and Shinnae to IHOP for a celebratory breakfast, where they ate free with the purchase of adult entrees; Carolyn and Fahd shared three.


As you can see by her expression, Carolyn was very happy with Amy's performance. I passed on breakfast because I had an appointment with my trainer, Alfredo.


The end.


Click here for more Amy stories.

No Bull

Here's a nifty way to protest, kiddies!

About 300 anti-bullfighting demonstrators lay half naked and covered in fake blood at the Plaza de Toros de Las Ventas in Madrid on Sunday.

I wonder how long a protest like that would last in California... or D.C.

Photo by Jasper Juinen/Getty Images

Chexy's Sports Roundup

Warrior Manu Vatuvei endures a rough tackle in a match against the Raiders in Canberra, Australia.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, That's Not My Leg edition.

Photo by Stefan Postles/Getty Images

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

In my dreams, I can sing like Billy Eckstine. Here's Billy with one of the hottest bands of the Big Band Era, circa 1945 with "Prisoner of Love."



Two natural born entertainers, Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney, from Judy's TV show in the early '60s -- and one helluva band.



Happy 76th birthday to The Bitch, Joan Collins.



For Memorial Day, in memory of all soldiers who fought for freedom, here's Troop 111 from Oklahoma City raising and lowering the flag. God bless America.

Jet Lag?

International travel or the sheer weight of her eyelashes has caught up with Paris Hilton, who was at her wonkiest on the red carpet at Cannes. Her dress is too hideous to show on these pages, but let this face represent a "how not to wear your makeup" for young women and Adam Lambert.

Yom Yerushalayim

On this day in 1967, Jerusalem was made whole again. It is known as Yom Yerushalayim. Here's a quote from the late Defense Minister Moshe Dayan:

"This morning, the Israel Defense Forces liberated Jerusalem. We have united Jerusalem, the divided capital of Israel. We have returned to the holiest of our holy places, never to part from it again.

To our Arab neighbors we extend, also at this hour -- and with added emphasis at this hour -- our hand in peace. And to our Christian and Muslim fellow citizens, we solemnly promise full religious freedom and rights. We did not come to Jerusalem for the sake of other peoples' holy places, and not to interfere with the adherents of other faiths, but in order to safeguard its entirety, and to live there together with others, in unity."

Photo by Paul Schutzer/LIFE

Don't Wax, Don't Tell

A wax figure of President Obama was displayed openly at The Wax Museum at Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco.

No one said anything about him being wax.

So things just went on as usual.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Husbands and Wives

Don Johnson's former wife Melanie Griffith, and former Trump wife Ivana. So alike, and yet one married a Johnson, and the other married a dick.

Chexy's Sports Roundup

Hey! Here's a sport I think I could play! That's team Germany doing some hopping before playing Estonia at the Le Coq Arena in Estonia.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, hopping at Le Coq edition.

Photo by Siim Semiskar/Bongarts/Getty Images

To Give is Beautiful

Donatella Versace puts her face out there for the AmfAR benefit at Cannes. Thanks, sweetie!

Click pic to see her large!


Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images

Another Old Queen

Queen Paola and King Albert of Belgium recoil at the inauguration of the Magritte Museum in Brussels yesterday. They celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary in July.

They are viewing Magritte's "Black Magic," an oil from 1933/34.

Photo by Denis Closon-Pool/Getty Images

Camilla and the Asian Women

HRH Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, wore a new Mayan/Hebraic shmata to the the Asian Women of Achievement Awards in London on Wednesday evening. That's not a silver purse, but a battery pack that allows her constant contact with the mother ship.

It appears that Her Highness' hair has been given a metallic rinse, allowing her luxurious locks to flow with less armature. I think it bears a closer look...


Ahh... so pretty. And that shade of lipstick enhances her "I need to take my pills" look! Faboo!

Photo by Indigo/Getty Images

Chexy's Sports Roundup

Supernatural player LeBron James presses with a magical jump against the Orlando Magic.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, I Can Fly edition.

Who's Prettiest?

Escapees from "Mad Max" or Mr. Fergie and Miss Adam? Both so lovely.

Kris Allen is Your American Idol

Miss Lambert was a bit too much for America, and milquetoast Kris Allen was just right to pick up where Gokey left off. The pint-sized bore has been named American Idol, while coloratura Adam Lambert will now be forced to have a great career, leaving Krissy with a couple of roommates in a Hollywood apartment waiting for the career phone to ring, and people trying to remember his name.

Congratulations to Kris Allen, America loves you more than guyliner and black nail polish!

Paris in France

When paparazzi get a good close-up of Paris Hilton, you can really see the extent of her beauty. And it's devastating.

Add a colossal statement necklace and bleached-to-shit hair held in place by a headband you're contractually bound to wear, and you've got an arresting look.

Perhaps she can get work as an extra on one of the Star Trek sequels.

Getty

Terri Seymour Choked

TMZ reports that a woman was arrested last night for choking Terri Seymour.

Terri's voice was not affected.

Dolla Dead, 50 Cent Alive, Bette It!

Rapper Dolla was shot and killed at the Beverly Center in Los Angeles yesterday, but 50 Cent strolled through New York with Bette Midler as part of her restoration project.

I think they're cute together!

Getty

Cher is Only 63

Much of Cher turns 63 today... the rest will have to be addressed by forensic engineers.

And my imaginary daughter Amy's favorite actress, Facts of Life starlet Mindy Cohn, is 43 today. "She's the voice of Velma!" reminds Amy.

Lonesome George

Comedian George Gobel would have been 90 today, he died in 1991. Here's the classic clip of Gobel on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Bob Hope and Dean Martin -- with one of the all-time classic lines by Gobel.

Chexy's Sports Roundup

No, your Chexy hasn't taken up soccer, and no, that's not a new game for hopping amputees... it's soccer star Nene during a world stars match in Monaco.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Nene Is Also the State Bird of Hawaii edition.

Photo by Luca Ghidoni/WireImage

Remembering Jackie

It's been 15 years since 20th Century icon Jackie O. jumped off the planet at age 64, a victim of non-Hodgkins lymphoma.

Her mansion was in the Gay Head area of Martha's Vineyard, which for some reason changed its name to Aquinnah.



for Gina L.

Embarrassing Moments with Stephen Baldwin

Former drug abuser turned Born Again Christian turned reality TV star and extreme sports minister and same-sex marriage opponent Stephen Baldwin (center) got some work... along with an Elvis impersonator and Planet Smoothie mascot at the opening of a store in Penn Station in NYC.

Kinda makes me never want a Planet Smoothie.

Yup, I never want one.


Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

Mission: Impossible

Actor Peter Graves, 83, appeared last night in a reading of The Comedy of Errors at the Shakespeare Festival at L.A.'s Geffen Playhouse. Joey, did you know he was still living?



Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

The Devil Wears Fur

The perennially bobbed and newly blondified Anna Wintour, Editor-in-Chief of American Vogue, as she appeared at a ribbon-cutting ceremony Monday at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC, and below as she appears on a PETA anti-fur poster. (Click the above pic to view Anna in her full loveliness.)


It's difficult to hide her beauty.


Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images
Poster by PETA

Camilla and the Roses

Her Royal Highness, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, takes time to smell the roses at the Chelsea Flower Show on Monday.

Judges were then unable to proceed when remnants of Camilla's hairspray ruined the bouquet for nearly an hour.

Photo by Sang Tan/WPA Pool/Getty Images

Chexy's Sports Roundup

Some of the many participants in the ING Bay to Breakers race in San Francisco on Sunday, a tradition now in its 98th year. The 12K is one of the world's largest and oldest footraces. Many wear costumes. Some don't.


This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, There's Some Ass in Front of Me edition.

Photos by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Panic in New Jersey!

Not since October 30, 1938, when Orson Welles terrified the nation with his "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast panicked residents about an alien invasion in New Jersey have so many been terrified by another false alarm alien appearance... which turned out to just be Fergie attending Z100's Zootopia in Rutherford.


Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

This Post is Very Popular in Germany

David Hasselhoff and his daughters Taylor Ann (left) and Hayley Amber form a lush Oreo at a benefit for Childrens Hospital of Los Angeles, held at Crustacean restaurant in Beverly Hills.

Hoff was not taken to the hospital after the bash.

Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images

Amy and the Pool Party

My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, was invited to a birthday pool party this weekend at the Gardena home of Carolyn's boyfriend Fahd's sister Yalda's boss from Jiffy Lube, Ed, who has a daughter, Donna, the birthday girl, who is a friend of Yalda's daughter Pushpeh. I hope that's clear. It was about 103 degrees in Gardena on Sunday, so my Amy was anxious to swim in their "fancy above ground pool," as she called it. Yalda and Pushpeh made the cake, the decoration of which nearly required police intervention.


Yes, I know she's big for six, and now Yalda's boss knows it too. It seems that Amy, like her father, doesn't like just jumping into a pool -- she has to get used to it first, so she sat on the edge for a few minutes.


This is what's left of the pool.

"I was just sitting there and whoosh!" said Amy with the excitement of someone who'd just made it out of a storm. Carolyn took the picture "for insurance purposes."

The water from the pool flooded several backyards, sending eight children and two adults into a vegetable garden and nearly killing a dachshund who'd been caught in the torrent. Carolyn, who learned CPR in reform school, administered mouth to snout resuscitation and revived "Ludlow."


"Other than that, it was a great party," said my optimistic angel. "They had a piñata and there was a lot of candy in there!"

She didn't even mind that on the way home, near Bellflower, Carolyn's used VW van that I told her not to buy caught fire.


No one was injured. Fahd's mother picked them up and drove them home. A good time was had by nearly all.


Click here for more Amy stories.

Dammit, Janet!

Brooke Shields at the Costume Gala a few weeks back, and Tim Curry as Dr. Frank-N-Furter in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" in 1975. So alike, and yet only one is a sweet transvestite from Transylvania.









From Chexydecimal London Bureau Chief Andy

Click here for more Brooke Shields lookalikes!

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

Cartoon today! Minnie and Mickey Mouse in 1934's "Shanghaied."

Artie Shaw would have been 99 today. He died in 2004, and he's my favorite of all the Big Banders.

Here's an absolutely breathtaking act called "The Mascots," from an episode of "Hollywood Palace" hosted by Sammy Davis, Jr. (He died 19 years ago today.) Stay tuned for the commercial at the end!




Philadelphia's own Jim Bailey, one of the greatest female impersonators ever... doing it the old fashioned way... he's really singing.

Time and Tide Wait for No Man

Clint Eastwood in his heyday... and recently on the beach.

Hot as ever.


Thanks to Gina L.

Her Majesty Blows Her Nose

The very ladylike Betty Deuce whipped out the royal hankie whilst watching her horse, Balmoral Moorland, as he won a race at the Royal Windsor Horse Show. *sniffle*


Her highness also wore a pair of smart oxfords and sexy stockings.


Photo by Indigo/Getty Images

And My Daddy is the President of the United States of America

Sasha Obama beams from the Truman Balcony of the White House as her father lands on the South Lawn in Marine One after a trip to Arizona and New Mexico.

Sasha will be 8 on June 7. She is the first White House resident born in the 21st century.

Getty

Prince Carl is 30... and Single

That lanky, dimpled hotness is the rarely seen Prince Carl Philip of Sweden, who turned 30 on Thursday, as well-wishers gathered outside the Royal Palace in Stockholm.


The royal family, King Carl Gustaf, Queen Silvia and princesses Victoria and Madeleine also appeared to cheer the young prince.

A military band played Oh Värmland Thou Art Beautiful for Carl, who is Duke of Värmland, and Yes, May He Live, the Swedish version of Happy Birthday to You.

Photos: Rex

Chexy's Sports Roundup

That's "The Phillie Phanatic" having what I suppose one could call an encounter with Orlando Hudson of the Dodgers, who was apparently confused when he was told to play the field.

The Dodgers defeated the Phillies 5-3 in 10 innings.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Going Green edition.


Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

Camilla and the Big Blue Gown

HRH Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, threw on her great big blue ball gown for the Classical Brit Awards at Royal Albert Hall on Thursday. Several archeologists were consulted for the packing of Her Highness into the gown, supported by a team of geologists/lingerie experts who fitted the brassiere.

Union steelworkers finished Camilla's hair, with environmental specialists taking special precautions with the bleaching agents and softeners.

Metal stabilizers were used to keep the gown suspended over her shoulders, while a team of artisans from the British Museum created Camilla's glistening maquillage.


Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Ay, Tina

Tina Turner, 69, poses at a charity presentation in Switzerland.

It's still cold there.


Photo by Miguel Villagran/Getty Images

Kim Kardashian, Driver

Natural beauty Kim Kardashian appeared at the STK steakhouse last night for some party.

It is unknown how she likes her meat.


Kim at the Races

Chuckie Says Cheese

Prince Charles, husband of the Duchess of Cornwall, happily appeared Tuesday without her on a visit to the Royal Music College, where he annually presents the awards.

The Prince is an avid environmentalist, and it shows.


Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Chexy's Sports Roundup

Hottie referee Lutz Wagner waves the checkerboard flag in some game in Germany, while another ref shows the red card. I prefer the flag.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Big Flag edition.


Photo by Andreas Rentz/Bongarts/Getty Images

Ivana See You Without Your Makeup

Ivana Trump last night, and Dennis Quaid. Kind of a drag.

Zac Efron in Japan

The rough road of promotion for "17 Again" continues for Zac Efron, who landed in Japan to find throngs of screaming girls waiting for him.

The film has earned over $50 million so far. I suppose this means there will be an "18 Again" in a year.

I can't wait.


Click here for more Zac posts!
Getty

Chexy's Sports Roundup

Martin Amedick (left) is comforted by Thorsten Stuckmann (right) after defeat in a match in Aachen, Germany. Martin is not a Thor loser.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, What's in a Name? edition.


Photo by Christof Koepsel/Bongarts/Getty Images

Christ, Him Again

The Pope continued his Middle East tour today with a swing through the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, birthplace of Jesus. He called for a homeland for both Palestinians and Jews.

I think we should just bring all the Jews to South Dakota, and let the Arabs fight amongst themselves.

I'd also like a snappy fez.

Camilla and the Big Hat

Is there anything lovelier than the Duchess of Cornwall in a great big fluffy white hat? I think not! Her highness seems to be struggling a bit with this ostrich-feathered one -- it's been a battle for Camilla and the wind this week!

This was Cam's look for a military commemoration ceremony at Westminster Abbey. And yes, she looks a bit ruffled, but her natural beauty still comes through!


For more Camilla posts, click here!
Photo by Indigo/Getty Images

Chexy's Fashion Report

No, Britney Spears has not gone off her medication. That's a model at something called the "Triumph Inspiration Awards" in Milan, where they ask designers to create wacky lingerie.


The end.

Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images

Freedom Fighter?

In the most twisted logic of her speech today, after The Donald allowed Carrie Prejean to hang on to her soiled tiara, she defended her anti-gay marriage stance by mentioning that her grandfather fought for freedom in World War II.

Apparently, her grandfather fought for free speech, but not for the freedom to marry a same-sex partner.

My father also fought in World War II. He was a Lieutenant Colonel after 26 years in the U.S. Army. He fought for all freedoms, not just those desired by allegedly Christian hate mongers.

In related news, suspected Nazi death camp guard John Demjanjuk, 89, arrived in Germany where he was taken into custody over claims he assisted in the murder of 29,000 Jews during World War II.

Hate doesn't change -- it just changes directions.

On Becoming Christian

Impossibly razor-cut boy designer, the haughty Christian Siriano in a Forever 21 blouse at the Modern Bride 25 Trendsetters Awards (now there are awards for almost doing something), and Kevin McHale, formerly of "Zoey 101" and now of "Glee." So alike, and yet only one fits in the palm of your hand.

Did You Hear the One About the Pope in Israel?

Pope Benedict XVI, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, etc., took his show on the road to Israel, meeting with Israeli President Shimon Peres, who gave His Holiness a nano bible, in Hebrew, inscribed on a particle about the size of a piece of sand. I mean, what do you get for a former Hitler Youth member who has everything?


In other church news, Archbishop Rembert Weakland (above), 82, former head of the Milwaukee archdiocese, has written a book about his sexual orientation -- he's gay. Weakland quit after a former Marquette University theology student revealed in May 2002 that he was paid $450,000 on an assault claim he made against the archbishop 20 years earlier.

The money came from the archdiocese.

The Pope will also visit Palestinian territories on his trip.


Photo by Rina Castelnuovo-Pool/Getty Images

Chexy's Sports Roundup

No, I wasn't in Palm Springs this weekend! That's Nick McCrory of the USA at the Men's Platform Finals on Saturday at Fort Lauderdale Aquatic Center.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, I'm Starting My Diet Tomorrow edition.


Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images

Shanna Moakler, Friend of Gays, Sorta

Programming geniuses at NBC TV 4 in Los Angeles carried the better part of Shanna Moakler's press conference LIVE. As executive director of the Miss California USA Pageant, Shanna (who has spent the better part of the past year tending to the melted tattoos of ex-husband/airplane crash burn victim Travis Barker) read surprisingly well from a prepared statement, detailing the reasons why the current Miss California may get the ax today.

Miss California USA Carrie Prejean, had the unmitigated, career-breaking gall to appear before at least one church group espousing her hatred while under title, and the contract says you just can't do that shit. So Shanna made it quite clear that they're going to can her not for her anti-gay sentiment, but for being so darned chatty about it while wearing her proverbial tiara.

Shanna also has nude pix, but they came later.

Now the only thing left for Shanna to do... is her roots. Thanks, hon!


Photo by Amanda Edwards/Getty Images

Bob Hopebama

President Obama revealed his comedy timing at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Here's a bit of his speech.

Camilla and the Foul

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall waves to a fan during a visit to a sports pavilion today, where a stray soccer ball broke her hair.


Photo by Chris Ison/WPA Pool/Getty Image

Do the Hustle

ABC Newswoman Andrea Mitchell (left) and her lookalike husband, former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan (right) at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Andrea was given an award for never changing her eye makeup since 1975.


Getty

Joan Rivers, Collectible

Joan Rivers, 75, winner at last night's "Apprentice" finale, and a Marilyn Monroe doll. One of these things is an almost lifelike recreation of the original.

Things with Orange Skin

Grumpy combed-over hag Donald Trump at last night's "Apprentice" finale, and an iPhone. These are things with orange skin.

Amy and Mother's Day Breakfast in Las Vegas

My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, planned a lovely Mother's Day for Carolyn, modified by Carolyn's spur-of-the-moment plan to spend the weekend with her girlfriend Yalda (left) and Yalda's sister-in-law Fleida (center) in Las Vegas. As you can see by Carolyn's expression (right), she was having a good time. Unfortunately, Carolyn missed the better part of Sunday morning because she was, as Amy reported, "very hangedover in Las Vegas."

The Excalibur hotel locale did not deter Amy from preparing breakfast in bed for Carolyn. "They had those same kind of little vodka bottles in the mini bar like the ones mommy keeps in her Louis Vuitton bag. They're good for hangedovers," declared Amy, with all the self-assurance of a health food mavenette. "I went downstairs with Yalda and tried to buy mom a bagel from the buffet, but the lady there just gave me one! I love Las Vegas!" Already, Amy is enchanted by the freebies of Vegas. She took this picture "to remember the moment I won a bagel."


"It's so much fun there," beamed my loquacious little angel, "I just don't understand why everybody has to get piss drunk!" It seems that Amy picked up a few new expressions on her visit to Carolyn's sisters in Massachusetts. "Why do people drink so much, Ricky?" wondered Amy as I drove her to school this morning while Carolyn slept it off. "They do it because it changes their mind for them." And as she's wont to do, as we pulled up to the school she abruptly dropped the subject for another. "What does hung like a horse mean?"


I nearly hit the back of a Volvo. It was difficult to know whether this was a tidbit she'd overheard from Yalda or Fleida or Carolyn or one of Carolyn's sisters, but my guess is that someone got lucky in Las Vegas. I was about to make up something about horses and ponytails when the school bell rang. Amy undid her seatbelt, gave me a kiss and was out the door. "Bye, Ricky! There's my friend Anthony!"


Saved by the bell.


Click here for more Amy stories.

Happy Mother's Day, Darlings

Here's wishing all the mothers out there a very happy Mother's Day!



Keep it clean!

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

How about a little Dusty Springfield?! She died in 1999, ten days before being inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.



Atlantic City's Steel Pier... back in the day...



Here's Diahann Carroll with Judy Garland from Judy's TV show... with a medley of Harold Arlen and Richard Rodgers songs. Diahann is on the book circuit with a memoir.



Simpler days of entertainment... from "The Tonight Show"... Johnny Carson and Jack Webb, with the classic clapper sketch.

Chexy's Sports Roundup

Finally, a sport I can play!

The Kiwis (in black) perform "the Haka" prior to a match with the Australian Kangaroos in Brisbane. Number 12 and Number 4 are very friendly.

Kangas won. This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Oh, Hey There! edition.


Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images

Camilla: In the Navy

Her Royal Highness, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, seen at a navy aviation 100th anniversary commemoration ceremony in London.

Appropriately, her hat appears to be departing from a battleship.

Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Sincerely Dead

Mickey Carroll (left), who found everlasting fame as a Munchkin in "The Wizard of Oz," died this morning at 89. He made it to Hollywood a few years back when they gave the Munchkins a star.

My Brothers Look Like JFK

California First Lady Maria Shriver and her JFK-alike brothers.

That's Mark Shriver on the left, he's VP and Managing Director of US Programs for Save the Children, and Timothy on the right -- he's Chairman of the Special Olympics (they have two other siblings, Robert and Anthony).

On the Shriver side, their ancestor David Shriver signed the Maryland Constitution in 1776. Their father is Sargent Shriver, who founded the Peace Corps. He is 93 and has Alzeheimer's.


Their mother is Eunice Kennedy Shriver, 87, JFK's sister... and they were photographed at the Outstanding Mother Awards at the Pierre Hotel in NYC.


Photo by Amy Sussman/Getty Images

Harlow, Houses

Glendale housewife Nicole Richie as she launched her House of Harlow jewelry collection at Ida & Harry in Miami, and the late Beverly Hills Realtor to the stars and silicone victim Elaine Young. So alike, and yet only one died three years ago.


Photo of Nicole: Getty

Venus in the Spring

Champ Venus Williams hits the dirt after a dive for a shot from Anna Chakvetadze (say it with me, Chakvetadze) of Russia in the Sony Tounament in Rome.

She missed.

Then she beat her.


Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

And Then There Were Three

After weeks of unmitigated torment, it's finally down to three contestants on "American Idol." We have the milquetoasty Kris Allen, whose recent performance Simon so perfectly likened to lunching on ice.

Then there's screaming evangelical Christian widower Danny Gokey, who goes into the "Idol" history books for the longest wail heard since Paula said she'd never been drunk.

Last, there's severely razor-cut, pierced and black-nail-polished Adam Lambert, whose voice was clearly made for Broadway, and I for one can not wait to see him in a revival of "Annie Get Your Gun."


Getty

Chexy's Sports Roundup

Adam McPhee of the Essendon Bombers appears to elevate during a training session in Melbourne.

I hope this photo gives you a lift as well.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Going Up Down Under edition.


Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images

Chexy's Sports Roundup

Jamie Lyon of team Country models the latest black tights during a trianing session in Orange, Australia.

Kinda kicky, don't you think?

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Do These Stockings Go With These Shorts edition.


Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images

Republican Clowns

The Republican leadership... clowns all.

Courtesy of Hebliclens/WMxdesign via BoingBoing via J.Lo.

There's Something Fishy About Michelle

Michelle Obama at last night's Time magazine 100 Most Influential People gala in NYC, and Nemo. So alike, yet only one is helped by Ellen DeGeneres, and the other eats fish.

Camilla and the Swine Flu

With swine flu on everyone's mind, Prince Chaz quickly scheduled a stop for today at the Hackney City Farm and as he hurried past the pigs (front), he encouraged Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall (rear), to take deep breaths.

The pigs have not displayed any symptoms since the encounter.

Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Chexy's Sports Roundup

No, darlings, your Chexy hasn't taken up golf. What you see are the fabulous trousers of America's John Daly in Turin at the BMW Italian Open -- and who doesn't love an open Italian?

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Pardon My Pants edition.


Photo by Stuart Franklin/Getty Images

Simplify

"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something."

--Henry David Thoreau
July 12, 1817 – May 6, 1862


"And don't grow ugly beards."

--Chexy

The Hindenberg Crash -- How It Really Sounded

May 6, 1937 -- Watch this to see and hear what Herb Morrison really sounded like! Oh, the humanity!

The Hindenberg had logged 20 safe crossings prior to the spectacular crash in New Jersey 72 years ago today.

Queen of Soul and Heating

Aretha Franklin at the Kentucky Derby this past Sunday, and the Arctic Sun Round Style Propane Patio Heater. So alike, and yet only one changes the weather.










Click here for more Aretha posts.
Hat Tip: Cambria

Betty Deuce -- Her Majesty's Pink Service

Let them eat cake! Betty Deuce put on her pink housecoat dress and a swanky pink and black topper and dragged Phil outta the palace to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the Royal Botanic Gardens in Kew.

Betty liked the gardens so well, she had to be stopped from digging.


Photo by Johnny Green - WPA Pool/Getty

Dom DeLuise is Dead

Dom DeLuise died last night at age 75.

Here's a clip from Mel Brooks' "History of the World, Part I."

Katy Gets Stanger

Katy Perry at last night's Costume Institute gala, and a glimpse into her future... in the form of flat-ironed single-but-in-a-relationship "Millionaire Matchmaker" Patti Stanger. So alike, and yet only one is the daughter of two evangelical pastors.

Lindsay Lohan Lunches on Louis Vuitton

What's left of Lindsay Lohan was almost seen in Beverly Hills yesterday, as the starlet skipped lunch and instead enjoyed a shopping spree at Louis Vuitton. Purses aren't fattening!

While she can still walk unassisted, she was helped into the car by several aides. It's unclear what she was wearing, it may have been a washcloth.

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

PoliticalCartoons.com
by Mike Keefe, Denver Post

Valley of the Dolled-Up

Cinema darling Anne Hathaway at last night's costume gala, and "Valley of the Dolls" author Jacqueline Susann. So alike, and yet only one starred in "The Morey Amsterdam Show."

Iman Shows Them How It's Done

That's supermodel Iman, 53, in the best dress of the night at the Costume Gala, hands down. She and David Bowie just celebrated their 17th wedding anniversary.

Madonna, Fashion Icon

That's 74-year-old Madonna, who last night attended the Costume Gala dressed as Peter Pan in the Marilyn Chambers Memorial production playing in SoHo. Note the woman standing behind her holiness, as she gapes at Madge's headdress, repurposed from the napkins at a Cinco de Mayo banquet at El Torito.

Several were sickened.

Talley Ho

Large Editor-at-Large for Vogue magazine, Andre Leon Talley, shows that a really smart pair of shoes can make or break your outfit... as seen at the Costume Institute Gala's "Model as Muse" event, held in a tent that Andre is not wearing.


Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images

Britney's Stage Crasher: Age Progression?

Jayden James Federline and Britney's stage crasher, Kyle King. So alike, and yet only one has the mind of a toddler.

Woody Allen at Tribeca Film Fest

No, that's not Woody Allen with his wife, or his mother-in-law.

As a promotion, Madame Tussauds left Woody's wax figure on a chair in the noonday sun at Tribeca Film Festival's Family Festival Street Fair, because who better represents closeness in families than Woody? Am I right, people?

The waxen Woody made some pithy remark about melting into Jewish mayonnaise on a lawn chair, and about how much he'd like to not be there when it happened.

I'll be here all week. Try the brioche filet mignon burgers.


Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival

Marc Jacobs in "Hey, Lady!"

Designer Marc Jacobs at a New York Times Magazine event on Sunday, proving that there's nothing more attractive than a guy in a skirt, white socks and combat boots.

Unfortunately, he's only proving it only to himself.


Photo by Rob Loud/Getty Images

Amy and the Bouncey House

My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, was invited to attend the 7th birthday party picnic of her mother Carolyn's boyfriend Fahd's sister Yalda's daughter Pushpeh. Yalda made arrangements with one of her co-workers to have a Disney-themed bouncey house for the party. Yes, I know, you saw it coming. I know she's big for six!

This picture was taken just after the police and paramedics left and the bouncey house owner, Enrique, arrived with Pablo to remove the deflated castle, after which a pinata quickly revived the remaining deflated guests.


Amy told me that she was jumping in the bouncey house when "the shoe jewelry on my Crocs putted a hole in the floor." (Her grammatical challenges have increased twofold since her return from visiting Carolyn's sisters in Acton.) I begged Carolyn not to let Amy wear Crocs after hearing that they can get stuck in escalators, and of course, because they're hideous. I never dreamed she'd take down a bouncey house with fourteen children in it.


I took possession of the Crocs, until the wailing chicanery of our heroine forced me to return them to her, with the promise that they would not be worn outside of her bedroom. After a performance worthy of at least Cher, she recuperated, with the help of two Little Debbie snack cakes she'd hidden in the new backpack I found for her.


Amy told me that the rest of the picnic was "lovely." Fahd and Yalda's grandmother cooked "sitting down on the ground." Amy thought this was a great idea and wants to try it.


A good time was had by nearly all.


Click here for more Amy stories.

Chexy's Sports Roundup

If you've ever wondered what those guys playing rugby wear under their shorts, then I am happy to provide this very important public service, courtesy of Brent Webb of the Leeds Rhinos, as he's brought down by Clint Greenshields of the Catalans in a match in Scotland.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Pantzed edition.

Photo by Jeff J. Mitchell/Getty Images

Would You Take Advice from This Woman?

Patti Stanger, that flat-ironed yenta from Bravo's "Millionaire Matchmaker" appeared with her very own droogie, Destin Pfaff, who combines the trifecta of dumbass hair, douchey beard (on his face) and hyperplucked eyebrows.


The same could probably be said for Patti. The two appeared Saturday at a book signing in Santa Monica for Stanger's "Become Your Own Matchmaker." Patti is only 47.

Photos by David Livingston/Getty Images

Kim Kardashian and Mom -- Putting the Ho in Horserace

An old nag and her filly, Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian, dragged their titanic asses and massive sunglasses down to Kentucky for the derby... and they appear to be the same goggles Kim fell asleep in while sunbathing in Miami on April 17.


Somehow, I like her better this way.

Kim's father was Robert Kardashian, friend of O.J. Simpson, the last person seen with O.J.'s suitcase on the day following the murders of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman, which many say contained O.J.'s bloody clothing. It was never found.


In a very clever trick, Kardashian renewed his legal license to become one of O.J.'s lawyers, which prevented him from being called to testify. He died of esophageal cancer in 2003.


Click here more Kardashian stories.
Photo: Getty

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

The recently departed Bea Arthur in Mel Brooks' "History of the World, Part I," with Mel and the late Ron Carey.



Need a new fridge, Billy?




Here's movie bad guy George Raft, in 1929's "Take a Look at Her Now" -- a rare appearance of Raft as a dancer.




We had a little earthquake in Los Angeles yesterday. See how many stars you can spot in this clip from 1974's "Earthquake"... watch for Charlton Heston and Ava Gardner.

Chexy's Sports Roundup

That's driver Lee Holdsworth at the V8 Supercar Championship in Benalla, Australia.

The drivers go around a track while people watch, then repeat for quite some time.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Critical Analysis edition.


Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Image

Clinton Foundation in Hollywood

Jessica Alba, sure, I can understand her getting close to former President Bill Clinton, but Adrian Grenier? This is a guy who can't complete a sentence unless it's written for him in a script -- even then it appears to be a challenge.

But that's how it went down (ahem) last night at the Clinton Foundation benefit at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. Someone must have made a hefty donation.

As a taxpaying citizen, I insist that the Secret Service does a better job.


Photo: Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images

Chexy's Fashion Report: Fernando Frisoni

Here's the perfect summer look if you're a Mormon wanting to show what your funny underpants look like on the beach. This is what Fernando Frisoni is selling at Australian Fashion Week.

Chexydecimal London Correspondent Andy said, "white satin shorts over leggings and foot bandages... and an undershirt borrowed from Fred Mertz?"

Photo by Stefan Gosatti/Getty Images

The Empire State Building

The Empire State Building, an Art Deco masterpiece, was dedicated on this day in 1931. It is the fourth tallest building in the Americas, and the twelfth tallest in the world.

In 1979, a woman named Elvita Adams jumped from the 86th floor, only to be blown back onto the 85th floor. She suffered a broken hip.

Click on the pic below for a panoramic view from the top.


And of course, here's a scene from "King Kong."




In 1964, Andy Warhol shot "Empire," an eight-hour silent film -- of one continuous shot of the building at night. Here's an excerpt.

Maurice Chevalier in Folies Bergere!

One hundred and forty years ago today, the Folies Bergere opened in Paris. This past March, a version of it that had played in Las Vegas for almost fifty years closed at the Tropicana.

Here's Maurice Chevalier and Ann Sothern and a whole bunch of dancers in hats in 1935's "Folies-Bergere." Choreographer Dave Gould won an Oscar for this number, "Straw Hat."

Chexy's Sports Roundup

No, that's not your Chexy gone amok on St. Patrick's Day... that's a fan of the Werder Bremen team before a semi-final cup match in Germany.

I publish this photograph that you may look about your lives, and be thankful this is not you. But it is a nice hat.

This has been Chexy's Sports Roundup, Gratitude edition.


Photo: John MacDougall/AFP/Getty Images