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Monday, April 27, 2009

Amy and the Eastern Bloc


My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, spent the weekend in and around Boston with Carolyn and her sisters, Coleen and Crystal. Their mother, Big Carolyn, would have named them all Carolyn had there not been some legal ramifications, and there was apparently a shortage of the letter L at the time of Coleen's birth. You'll recognize Carolyn in the middle (below), although I know it's hard to tell the three apart. As you can see by her expression, she's quite enjoying the visit.


Coleen (left) has been a tour guide at the Paul Revere House for sixteen years, and she's almost got the tour memorized. Amy enjoyed seeing the kitchen, but was quite disappointed that "they didn't have nothing to eat there," she said, having quickly adapted the patois of her Auntie Coleen, who doesn't have to wear period clothing on the job, but does.


Amy especially enjoyed visiting her Aunt Crystal, night manager of a Dunkin' Donuts in Northampton, where Crystal is very popular among the local cops (and truckers), and now with Amy, no doubt as the result of providing an endless supply of Munchkins -- the "holes" from donuts made real in a sugary ball of dietary terror.


In addition to having a new taste for coffee, Amy is now of the opinion that Munchkins are the "mostest deliciousest things everer," says she, adapting the annoyingly ungrammatical superlatives favored by her maternal relations.


Carolyn and Amy flew back to Los Angeles, coach, and Amy was "very happy we had no one in the seat next to us so we could be "more comfortabler."


I picked them up at LAX and found, to my horror, that Coleen had flat-ironed Amy's hair. Yes, I know, she's big for six. Amy brought me a small gift... one Munchkin... which had, at a time before the flight, been a box of twelve.


And she asked me for a bite.


Click here for more Amy stories.

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