Bright Idea

"Nonviolence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages."

-- Thomas Edison

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

It's a little something for everyone today! Remember the Beatles? I do. Here's an early "video" by the Fab Four with "I Am the Walrus."




And for a real change of pace, here's Mae West from 1937's "Every Day's a Holiday" singing "Mademoiselle Fifi." This is how you stage an entrance, folks.



And now, Angela Lansbury and Bea Arthur singing "Bosom Buddies" from "Mame," in a 1986 performance from the Tonys. Rosie O'Donnell should have hired them for her live show.



Capping off today's matinee, one of the prettiest voices of the Rock Era, Phoebe Snow, in a 1989 performance of her mega hit, "Poetry Man."

Thanksgiving with Britney

before

I spent untold minutes thinking of Britney this Thanksgiving. She's our crazy relative on the mend, whose antics at last year's VMAs are still a fresh horror. I watched a YouTube clip of Brit performing this week at the Bambi Awards in Berlin for an audience of mostly tuxedoedTeutons, who didn't offer the pharmaceutically enhanced pop monger a standing ovation for her lipsynched gyrations and recovery. It was the same old, old Brit -- the 'Circus' minus the freak show.

after

I miss the bonkers, unpredictable Britney, shaving her head and driving aimlessly from Starbucks to filling station; the late-night, pink-wigged, snatch-flashing cracky Brit of all-night drugstore runs, shouting at paparazzi and followed by helicopters. And yet it seems unkind to think fondly of her bipolar buffoonery, but I do.

during

That's the Britney I miss, y'all. She's only 27, so there's always the possibility that she'll finally be freed of her paternal conservatorship, and forget to take her meds... especially when she needs a little publicity -- which won't be anytime soon. I wish her well. Mostly.

Let's Face It

Meg Ryan, as she appeared Wednesday at the Berlin premiere of "The Women," and Heath Ledger as The Joker. So alike, and yet so different.

Happy Thanksgiving

Try not to fight with your family. Count your blessings. Get in touch with your gratitude.

Thank you for visiting Chexydecimal!

Thanksgiving Joy

President-elect Barack Obama made a surprise visit Wednesday to St. Columbanus Parish and School in Chicago to wish schoolchildren a happy Thanksgiving.


Photo: Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

Prop 8 Organizers, Take Note

When they don't like what's going on in Bangkok, they show up en masse at the airport and shut the thang down!


The People's Alliance for Democracy stormed through police lines at Suvarnabhumi Airport and shut down the place as they seek to oust the prime minister.

Then again, if this were attempted at LAX, this would probably end up in gunfire.


Forget it kids, stick to the streets.

Giving Thanks

Reports say that horse-faced horse's ass and Republican asswipe Ann Coulter broke her jaw and had to have it wired shut. I don't believe it, but that's what's going around.

Ann is best known for spouting her right wing haterade on chat shows, leaving many anxious to shut her up. Apparently someone or something has, but no reports list the cause of her jaw problem, other than that she often flaps it.

If this hateful conservoslag has been silenced, even temporarily, there is yet one more reason to give big thanks this Thanksgiving.

Land of Plenty

Norman Rockwell painted "Freedom From Want" in 1943, celebrating the great promise of America.


Hundreds of people waited in line on Tuesday to receive a free turkey and box of food at the annual Thanksgiving Banquet in a Box distribution provided by the Denver Rescue Mission, which planned to distribute food to as many as 1,200 families.

America will recover. Perhaps people will finally realize that Republican policies don't work, and that we as a nation are as strong as our informed citizenry. Help where you can. Happy Thanksgiving.


Photo by John Moore/Getty Images

Instant Karma for Haters!

Don't hate, people, it's not good for you, and former Los Angeles Film Festival director Richard Raddon, a moron, I mean, Mormon, has resigned in the wake of criticism of his $1,500 donation in support of hate -- aka Prop 8.

At first, board members refused to accept his resignation when his donation was revealed, but they came to their senses on Monday, probably when they realized that they need the gay$ to keep the festival going. Please do not upset the queens!

Raddon is quoted by Reuters as saying in a statement, "I have always held the belief that all people, no matter race, religion or sexual orientation, are entitled to equal rights. As many know, I consider myself a devout and faithful Mormon." Dude's a little fucked up.

Raddon has been director since 2000. Now he'll have plenty of time to be a devout Mormon!

In other Prop 8 news, please boycott A-1 Self Storage. The owner gave almost $693,000 to ban gay marriage in California. That's some serious hate. And if the Knights of Columbus (an alleged fraternal benefit society) ask you for money, just say no. They gave $1.25 million. Haters suck.

Ba da da da da da da da da da ....

There was a large gathering Tuesday in the Boyle Heights section of Los Angeles in honor of St. Cecilia, the patron saint of music, poets and singers. Her image leads the many mariachis playing on her Feast Day.

I watched the AMAs, and I believe that Saint Cecilia blessed Christina Aguilera with the ability to sing in only one note.


Mariachi music started in the Mexican state of Jalisco in the 1800s.


Photo: David McNew/Getty Images

Betty Deuce Pimps Out

Here's Her Majesty, Betty Deuce, as she appeared in New Zealand on Tuesday to visit a tourism exhibition... and here's some other queen in a pimp costume I pulled off the internet. So alike, and yet, so different.

Hey Xenu, What's New?

You want to know why Katie Holmes looks like hell? Just stare at this picture for a while -- if you dare!


The Scientology loon is on a publicity blitz for that Hitler movie coming out next month, and Details gave him a pity cover. Yes, that's just what I want at holiday time, a film about a failed assassination attempt on Hitler. Ooh! The laughs!

God save Suri.

Cracked

They tossed Amy Winehouse into the hospital again, when she had a fainting spell that they say was related to "medication." Mmm hmm. Medication.

Kids, this is what happens when you drink them crackaccinos.


In other drug news, a US national survey found that if you used cocaine more than 10 times, your heart attack risk increases four-fold. Doctors say roughly 10% of heart attacks in folks 18 to 45 were associated with a history of more than 10 uses of coke.

Amy Winehouse is 25 years old.

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

Taylor Jones, El Nuevo Dia, Puerto Rico

Sexy Men

People magazine's 2008 Sexiest Man Alive, Hugh Jackman, as he appeared last night while signing autographs at the New York premiere of "Australia"...


... and John F. Kennedy, Jr., as he appeared on the cover of People, twenty years ago. He would have been 48 today.


Photo: Getty/Ray Tamarra

Chuck's Blue Hand

HRH Prince Charles popped into a little school in West Yorkshire, where they thought it would be a good idea to paint his hand blue, and you can see he's really enjoying that.

This man will be King of England one day. If his mother lets him.


Photo: Getty Images/Anwar Hussein

Flapper Dress Flap

Spraypainted Ashley Tisdale last week in Melbourne at one of the 2,384 premieres of "High School Musical 3," and Britain's answer to Mariah, Miss Leona Lewis -- last night at the American Music Awards in the same Jenny Packham dress.

Oopsy.



Photos: Getty

Rihanna Busts Out

Rihanna shows off a nice big pair...


of American Music Awards she won last night.


Getty Images/Frederick Brown

Josephine Baker and Beyoncé

Last night while I attempted to endure the American Music Awards, I was struck by Beyoncé's performance of "Single Ladies." Eighty-one years ago, there was an American sensation in Paris, Josephine Baker. See if this dance looks familiar... the music has been added as this was pre-sound film.



And here's YouTube sensation Shane Mercado dancing with Beyoncé's video behind him on "The Bonnie Hunt Show."

A Boy's Life

When you see a Calvin Klein underwear model in person, you realize that the packaging makes objects appear larger.


This is proven by the appearance on Saturday of model Garrett Neff at a Macy's in South Beach, who looks 14, but claims to be 22.

Amy and the Porn

I'm so mad at Carolyn you have no idea. It seems that while she was having one of her vodka naps during "Friday Night Smackdown," my imaginary daughter Amy, so as not to wake her mother, was forced to watch TV in Carolyn's bedroom where a DVD of "Fat Ghetto Freaks" had been left in the player.


While you all know by now that she's big for 6, I don't think Amy is quite ready to be viewing the pornographic predilections of her mother's boyfriend, Fahd, the award-winning Lebanese Amway salesman from Gardena. I know I'm not ready. But watch it I had to, because Amy was going to have some questions, and I wanted to know what she'd endured. There are times when being a concerned imaginary parent is not beneficial to anyone but your overweight imaginary child.

"Do you have any questions about what you saw?" I asked my round-faced angel as she morosely picked at a beautiful arugula salad, crackers and hard-boiled eggs I'd prepared for her. "Yes," she said, wincing. "Please, can I have some mayonnaise?"


I suppose I should count my parental blessings; there are parents who would give anything to have one of their only problems with their child be a fondness for Best Foods mayo. I got it for her.


As I waited for her question about the DVD, she sat thoughtfully for a moment, and as she skillfully spooned a dollop onto an egg, she asked, "I want to know about the whipping."

If there were ever a moment where I'd been aware of successfully concealing being aghast, this probably wasn't it.

"Well," I casually began speaking in what was perhaps a full pitch above my normal tone, and quickly corrected it, "There are times, dear, when two people like to do things with each other that one wouldn't normally..."

"No, Ricky, the mayo. How do they whip the mayo to come out like this?"

As the color left and returned to my face, I said, as many parents do, "Let's ask the Internets!"

And we found the answer together. Amy had no other questions, but I'm still not speaking to Carolyn except through the attorneys.


Click here for more Amy stories.

You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Post is About You, Don't You, Don't You?

Aerosmith relic Steven Tyler showed up at the AMAs last night, and his transformation to becoming Carly Simon in 1970 is nearly complete.

On the Flyness

I hadn't seen this pic of Michelle and Barack until yesterday, and I sure see a lot of pix on the net.


It'll be nice to get the hillbillies out of the White House.

Hat tip: Michael Fisher

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

Lorenz "Larry" Hart died 65 years ago today, but his songs live on. Hart was a gay Jewish lyricist who attended Columbia University and ended up writing with Richard Rogers. His songbook is too extensive to include here, but here are a few greats singing some of the best.


Frank Sinatra Singing "The Lady is a Tramp," with Rita Hayworth in 1957's "Pal Joey."




I like this monster movie mashup with Sinatra singing "My Funny Valentine," starring Elsa Lancaster and Acquanetta.



Nat King Cole turned to Hart on his 1957 variety show, here singing the haunting "Where or When."





Maurice Chevalier in Rouben Mamoulian's 1932 classic "Love Me Tonight," singing "Isn't It Romantic?" (You may need to turn up your volume.) Be sure to catch Jeanette MacDonald at the end!

November 22nd

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men."

--John F. Kennedy

Meanwhile, Barack at the Deli

In a surprise visit, Barack Obama stopped by Manny's Deli in Chicago today to pick up some corned beef sandwiches, where he was cheered by customers.


Expect corned beef sales to skyrocket.

Hey, Mary

This is Mary Steenburgen in 1994's "It Runs in the Family"...


...and last night at the premiere of "Four Christmases."


Mary is 55. It's amazing what being married to Ted Danson will do for a girl.

Another Fabulous Queen

This red hotness in an Aqua Net helmet is Her Majesty, Queen Silvia of Sweden, who will be 65 December 23. She appeared last night in NYC at the Mentor Foundation Gala -- she's on their Board of Directors.


Silvia's husband Carl -- um, Carl XVI Gustaf -- is the reigning King of Sweden, and is dyslexic. And here's their son, the handsome Prince Carl (they just call everybody Carl over there).


Li'l Carl isn't the Crown Prince; the Act of Succession of 1980 made his elder sister Victoria the Crown Princess. Carl, 29, is revered by the gay community in Sweden and says he "finds it flattering." I like Swedish meatballs.

Palin Pardons a Turkey -- Sorta

Bumbling Republican dumbass Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey at an Alaskan turkey farm, then gave an interview... while other turkeys were slaughtered behind her. I'm not kidding.



Hat tip: Banker Dave

The Crook Gets the Hook

From Chexidecimal Atlanta Bureau Chief Harris

The senior Senator from Alaska, ancient Republican Ted Stevens was defeated Tuesday on his 85th birthday by Democrat Mark Begich. In his departure speech Thursday, he acknowledged leaving the Senate a wounded man, convicted this month of seven felony conspiracy counts. Yah, that smarts.

Ted gave his farewell address in the Senate chamber, then fellow senators heaped gooey praise on the convicted felon for his eternally long service, jovial demeanor -- but not his gorgeous Alaska home. No one mentioned the little matter of $250K in unusual gifts from executives.

The Senate's only nonagenarian, Robert Byrd of West Virgina, woke up from his pre-dirt nap and nearly wept over the departure of Stevens. Idaho bathroom tapper Larry Craig also got a little weepy.

Well wishes for Uncle Ted can be sent care of the Alaska Department of Corrections, unless Bush pardons him in a last act of contempt for the law.

Mrrrrrrrrrrowwwwwwww!

Here's 24-year-old Scarlett Johansson from the December issue of Allure magazine.

This woman could turn me into a lesbian.

Suri Cruise Responds

Suri Cruise was asked what she thought about that Hitler movie her dad's about to crash and burn in this Christmas, and she responded like any baby Thetan would. But the real story here is Katie Holmes -- it looks like she's been up nights worrying about her husband's temper, or maybe she's just morphing into him after being quizzed in one of those all-night Scientology brain cleaning sessions.

I give it eight more months -- then Katie's parents put her in the hospital for "rest." I can't stop staring at Suri -- and wondering what her future book will be like. And the movie version? Let's see -- in 20 years, Chace Crawford will play Suri's dad in "Barley Water Baby" -- with Dakota Fanning as Katie, and we'll get to laugh at how camp it is. In the Broadway musical version, Suri will be played by Kaye Ballard, because today is Kaye Ballard's 83rd birthday, and she's already got the Suri haircut.

Get Happy

The New York Times reports that a University of Maryland study found that more happy people spend less time watching television, and unhappy people spend more time watching TV. At publication time of this post, Bush has only 60 days left in office. This makes me elated. This was no tiny survey; they used surveys of 45,000 Americans over 35 years, collected by the U of Chicago.

The researchers could not tell "whether unhappy people watch more television or whether being glued to the set is what makes people unhappy."

I'd write more, but I have to watch Jeopardy now. It's the Teen Tournament so I can feel really smart. In the meantime, the study didn't say anything about watching YouTube, so get happy and watch this.

Anybody Here Seen My Old Friend Bobby?

Bobby Kennedy would have been 83 today. I wonder how the last 40 years might have been different had he lived. I also wonder what I'm going to have for lunch. This portrait of Bobby was done by Andy Warhol.

Last night in NYC, Rory Kennedy (a documentary film producer) with two of her three children, Georgia and Elizabeth, attended the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights Bridge Dedication Gala at Pier Sixty. Rory Kennedy was born Dec. 12, 1968, six months after Bobby was assassinated at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles.


Click pic to enlarge (from Andrew H. Walker/Getty).

Larry King is Only 75

Happy 75th birthday to undead CNN news zaydeh Larry King, who hasn't had the best year. His 7th wife, Shawn, had to go to rehab -- and then there was talk that she was having an affair with the baseball coach of her two young sons with Larry.

Good morning, Kathy in Cleveland!

Calvin Klein is 66

Hello.
The designer who changed everything about men's underpants turns a buxom 66 today. He doesn't look as good as some others do in his underthings. Still, it gives me an excuse to run pics like these.


This makes me look fat.


Yup, that's Kate Moss' ass.

The Stench of Patchouli

People, I'm begging you, please stop wearing patchouli! To put it in the most polite terms possible -- it fucking stinks!

This vile substance is made from the patchouli herb of the mint family, originally cultivated in the bowels of Hell. It is made by distillation and fermentation -- and I'm sure numerous lives are sacrificed in the process.

Hippies used the oil as perfume in the '60s and '70s, no doubt as a fly repellant -- for which it's also used, and you know flies like shit, but won't go near patchouli. In some Asian countries, they use it as a venomous snakebite antidote -- it'll even kill poison! The Chinese use it to treat nausea, but it never fails to induce mine.

Now they're adding it to new designer perfumes -- because you want to enhance your allure by smelling like bug killer and an old hippie, and by causing asphyxiation, don't you?

Here's a handy guide to some of the perfumes containing this horror: J'ai Osé Guy Laroche, Pasha Cartier, Héritage end Habit Rouge Guerlain, Pleasures Estée Lauder, Initiation Molyneux, Eternity Calvin Klein, Miss Dior Christian Dior, Miss Balmain Pierre Balmain, Magie Noir Lancôme, Shalimar and Black Cashmere by Donna Karan.

Diane Sawyer Books Hooker

Gubernatorial whore Ashley Dupré finally got her price -- paid by Miss Diane Sawyer on behalf of 20/20 -- where the inordinately tanned hooker will flap her lips about her liaisons with horny Luv Guv Eliot Spitzer this Friday on ABC, while dressed for an Amish funeral.

The wannabe singer turned whore (Dupré ) snapped her trap shut tight after the scandal blew, but now she's sucking up to Diane. The interview is sure to go down as one of Sawyer's best -- it's unknown exactly how she pulled this one off. Perhaps Ashley will look smart.


HOpefully, her message will have a happy ending.

Yang Hangs it Up

Yahoo Co-Founder Jerry Yang, worth nearly 3 billion, has decided to leave Yahoo, after returning to the company to replace Terry Semel. Yang declined Microsoft's $43B offer to buy the company, leaving many shareholders cranky.


Yahoo had 141 million unique visitors in the U.S. alone in August. Only Google had more. Approximately 10% of Yahoo's staff of 15,000 will be let go, they dumped 1,000 workers in January.

MyYahoo is one of the best features on Yahoo, and a great way to have all your bookmarks at any computer you sit down to use. Yahoo Messenger is technically superior to AIM, but not as popular.

Jerry took a salary of only $1.00 during his recent tenure.

Prince Albert Bloats

Prince Albert II of Monaco, son of the late Grace Kelly, threatened to collapse a balcony in Monaco when he appeared with his sisters, Princess Caroline of Hanover (left) and Princess Stephanie of Monaco (right), as they attended the Army Parade as part of Monaco's National Day celebrations today in Monte Carlo.

Here are three of Caroline's four hottie kids attending a service today, from left, Pierre, Charlotte and Andrea Casiraghi, from Caroline's second marriage to Italian heir and sportsman Stefano Casiraghi, who died in a powerboat crash in 1990.


Caroline also has a 9-year-old daughter, Princess Alexandra, with her third husband, The Prince of Hanover, who used to be her best friend's husband.

In the last few years, the very randy Princess Stephanie dated an elephant trainer and later a trapeze artist, a bodyguard, a gardener, and a palace butler, but was recently seen with French actor Merwan Rim. Yes, his name is Rim.


Photos by Pascal Le Segretain, Stephane Cardinal-Pool/Getty Images

Cultural Artifacts: Toilet Paper Roll Dolls

What you see above is a knitted toilet paper roll cover.


And that's Nick, who works with me on the production line at Spacely Sprockets. I told him his hat looked like it belonged on a toilet paper roll doll -- and he had no idea what I was talking about -- and made a snippy remark about being born in 1984 -- to which I replied, "You've heard of Lincoln, haven't you?"


For those of you unaware of the odd knit goddesses who once adorned the better toilet tanks of the Kensington section of Philadelphia and other fine neighborhoods, here are a few of the crocheted potty deities that you just don't see anymore.

You can still find out how to make them, as seen on eBay.

How to Know When to Fire Your Stylist

Here's a handy visual guide!


That's "90210" actress AnnaLynne McCord looking like she's waiting for a trick on Santa Monica Blvd. and Van Ness, but actually at the "Twilight" premiere -- and below, a few weeks back at a Treasure Island event in Las Vegas.


Photos by Getty Images, Hat Tip: Halloran

When Miley Cyrus Met John Travolta

"Hey Miley, want to read a fun book about spacemen?"





Ah, Scientology.

Betty Deuce at the Flickers

Her Majesty, Betty Deuce likes to go to the movies -- and donned a full length peachy frock the color of her makeup and schlepped ol' Prince Phil outta the house for the premiere of "A Bunch of Amateurs" starring ... Burt Reynolds? Yup.

The movie is about a sleazy Hollywood agent who tricks one of his clients, a faded action star, into playing King Lear in an amateur charity production in London.

Why Betty insists on carrying a black bag with a pastel gown is unknown, as is what the queen thought of Reynolds as the king.


Photo by Dave Hogan/Getty Images

Brit to Light Tree at Rockefeller Center?

"Hey y'all, it's Jingler bells times again! I'm gone to Rockyfeller Sender to light up that big ol' tree! It's gonna look way purtified -- like the pink one in mah parlor."

Yup, you hearded it right. Reports say that Britney Jean has been asked to light up the Rockefeller Center Xmas tree -- and if there's anyone who shows that someone can rise up like Jesus, it's our Brit; just last January she was strapped to a gurney and trundled off to UCLA to get her brain under control, and her parrents managed to get her away from evil Svengali Sam Lutfi, and that creepy Adnan -- and now she's performing with Madonna and releasing a new album "Circus" on Dec. 2nd. Here's a still from her upcoming MTV docu:


Yeah yeah, more lingerie dancing. I just hope there's another gum-cracking interview with Matt Lauer!


Art by prettyontheoutside.com

Distinguishing Andrea Mitchell

No, that's not a drag queen trying to look like Judith Light on "Ugly Betty," that's NBC News hottie Andrea Mitchell, commenting on "Meet the Press" this past Sunday. She's married to former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan.


That's Judith Light.

G'bye Princess Galyani

The Thais really know how to put on the pomp! Here's a glimpse of the funeral procession in Bangkok for Princess Galyani, whose ashes are being carried in The Royal Great Victory Carriage, pulled by soldiers in ancient costumes.

The Princess died in January at age 84 -- and they're just getting around to the ceremony, after which, everyone went out for Thai food.

Photo by Chumsak Kanoknan/Getty Images

Amy and the Poetry Reading

As many of you know, my imaginary daughter Amy, 6, is quite advanced in reading, so it was no surprise when she was asked by her teacher, Mrs. Knoos, if she would give a poetry recital on Art Appreciation Day. Having all the shyness of her father, she jumped at the chance and set about finding the right piece. When I asked Amy what Carolyn thought of the idea, she said, "When I told her, she was very involved with watching 'Ellen' and a box of Goldfish she got at Costco."

As I have a very extensive poetry collection from my salad days (which, I might add, are what Carolyn is supposed to have for Amy three times a week by court order), I told Amy to take a look through my bookshelves to see what she might like to perform. Perhaps I should have given it more thought. She returned half an hour later with Frank O'Hara's "Lunch Poems," but seeing no references to actual lunch, she quickly lost interest.


Then she came back into my office with the collected poems of Allen Ginsberg, from which she begain reading, in a rather clear voice:

"farewell

with your old dress and a long black beard around the vagina

farewell

with your sagging belly

with your fear of Hitler

with your mouth of bad short stories

with your fing--"

Recovering from a somewhat stunned silence, I cut her off right there and suggested that she might find something a little more upbeat, like "Little Jack Horner" or "See Saw, Margery Daw" from her Illustrated Treasury of Nursery Rhymes. Amy objected and told me I was "soooo L 7." Then, it was settled. She would read a selection from "Alice in Wonderland," because she liked the part about the tarts, having already memorized it.

This is a photo I took of the crowd on Sunday afternoon at the recital, held at the art gallery next door to her school. No, that's not Carolyn in the red coat, it just looks like her. She couldn't make it because she had a massive hangover from some birthday party, which she described to Amy as "the flu."

Amy's name was called, and she received more than a smattering of applause, a testament to her popularity at school, based in part on her generous sharing of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish.

And then Amy began to read...

"Howl, by Allen Ginsberg."

I believe what I heard after that would best be described as a collective, audible gasp. She continued.

"For Carl Solomon. I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving

(she put special emphasis on "starving")

hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn, looking for an angry fix, angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of the night..."

The rest of this is mostly a blur, but I believe that's about the point where Mrs. Knoos made a near flying leap from the wings to escort my Amy from the stage, while giving me a look that had I been a dartboard in an Irish pub, there'd be drinks all around for her six consecutive bullseyes.

Amy, undaunted, kept reading aloud as she was ushered off the riser,

"who poverty tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the" --

It was at that point Mrs. Knoos grabbed the book and flung it shut underneath her armpit. As I worked my way toward where Amy had been, er, removed, my cell camera snapped this photo.

I said nothing as we left, having a perplexing mixture of parental angst and admiration for her guts. We drove silently for a while, until Amy finally said two words: "Big Boy," where we shared the Mango Breeze Sundae.

Anne of Blue Jackets

That hotness is the The Princess Anne, Princess Royal, 58, daughter of Betty Deuce, seen in this Maoist jacket dress at an equestrian event in New Zealand on Friday. Anne is the only member of the British royal family to have competed in the Olympics.

The Princess is a pharologist -- she has a fascination with lighthouses, and you can see why.

And for those of you not interested in Princess Anne, here's a totally gratuitous shot from the Victoria's Secret show on Saturday.


And one more.

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

Miss Eartha Kitt, 81, from a recent benefit, singing Cole Porter's "Love for Sale."




Almost the Amy Winehouse of her day, Miss Anita O'Day in Tokyo, 1963, singing Cole Porter's "Love for Sale."




And how about a little Frank Sinatra, the JT of his day, singing Cole Porter's "Night and Day," in one of the earliest "videos," from 1943.

Hollywood Glam, Paris and Benji Style

If you're Paris Hilton, nothing quite adds to your red carpet glamor like wispy hair extensions, a silvery handbag, and a shlumpy boyfriend with sleeve tats. Yeah, that's a good look. That's how the two appeared last night at the premiere of the new James Bond film "Quantum of Solace."

For Benji Madden's part, you'd think he'd say, "Hey, my girlfriend is wearing a ball gown, maybe I oughta ditch the black jeans, gothy tee and kicks for something a little more upscale," but no. Having to exhibit ones hideous tattoos apparently trumps any sense of decorum or appropriateness, dude.

At least they look happy.

Photos by David Livingston/Getty Images

Nicole Richie is for the Birds

There's something quite avian about Nicole Richie (as seen last night at the Environmental Media Awards)... in the same way Calista Flockhart is so birdlike.

Jane Withers is Alive

One of the great stars of the 1930s, Jane Withers, now 82, was out last night (photo below) for the premiere of Mitzi Gaynor's revamped "Razzle Dazzle." Withers got her big break at age 8 in 1934 as a bratty kid who bullies Shirley Temple in "Bright Eyes," in which Shirley sang "On the Good Ship Lollipop."


In the 1960s, she gained new fame as "Josephine the Plumber" in the Comet cleanser ads.

Photo by Toby Canham/Getty Images

In 1956, she befriended James Dean when they co-starred in "Giant." Jane has an extensive doll collection numbering near 10,000. Here's an unfortunately colorized clip from "Bright Eyes." The first 30 seconds are awfully annoying.

Don't Be a Wasilla Girl

She just won't go away quietly. Sarah Palin popped up at the Republican Governors Association conference today in Miami, looking like a jetlagged hag who just lost an election.

Palin discussed her feelings on the future of the Republican party, which has already been laid out by the electorate's response to the Bush economic and international policies that have put the U.S. on the brink of total financial collapse. Future? "Just look in the rear view mirror."

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Noh Way

No, that's not another snapshot from Janet Jackson's Vertigo tour, that's a Noh drama performer at a welcoming ceremony for King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia of Spain in Kyoto, Japan.


That's Janet.

Photos by Junko Kimura/Getty Images, Brad Barket/Getty

We Are Most Amused Too

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, had her hair totally blown out, got reblondified, and put on her best bra for an evening at the theatre with bonny Prince Harry, who is now 24. The royal stepmom caught a performance of "We Are Most Amused" at the Wimbledon Theatre in London.

Princess Diana referred to Camilla as "The Rottweiler."

Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Fan Found Dead in Car Outside Paula Abdul's House

Police in L.A. are saying that a fan of Paula Abdul's has been found dead in a car near the "American Idol" judge's house, and that it looks like a suicide. Here's a video of the dead loon "Paula Goodspeed," when she auditioned for "Idol" last year.

Watch more Dailymotion videos on AOL Video

One other known fan survives.

American Anti-Abortion Jihadists

From Chexidecimal Atlanta Bureau Chief Harris


We've seen the religious fervor on TV; thousands of the faithful, flagellating and screaming. No, I'm not talking about the crazy bastards goaded toward their great reward by Muqtada al-Sadr and his ilk. What, you think that only the Islamic jihadists have cornered the notion that God has prepared a paradise awaiting those who do his bidding?

Take, for example, the Most Reverend Robert Joseph Hermann, Archdiocesan Administrator of St. Louis, who is ready to accept his greater reward for doing God's business here on Earth. "Any one of us here would consider it a privilege to die tomorrow -- die tomorrow! to bring about the end of abortion," said Bishop Hermann in USA Today.

Hermann says he and others would welcome death in the service of right to life. Followers of this American Mufti may connect word to deed and believe their greater reward awaits -- for bombing a clinic, shooting a doctor, or perhaps they'll just scream and wave signs at women who want to exercise their right.

Hey Father Bobby Jo! You missed out here on Earth. You must be hoping for a virgin or two in paradise!

Let Us Spray

The re-nosed and heavily spray-tanned Ashley Tisdale attends the premiere of 'High School Musical 3: Plastic Surgery' in Melbourne, in one of the 14,650 premieres Disney has arranged for the film. Tan terror alert has been raised to Orange.


Photo by Lucas Dawson/Getty Images, Hat Tip to Halloran

Pretty Condi

Can you believe they're now giving awards to Condoleezza Rice? The failed Secretary of State was given this piece of Jetson hardware for being a "Woman of the Year" or some such nonsense. Her own glamour hadn't been visible before this night, when she donned an Oscar de la Renta gown, had a pro do her makeup and rid her of that bubble conk.

Eve Arden Was Fierce

Character actress Eve Arden, who practically invented the wisecracking best friend, would have been 100 this year. She died November 12, 1990. I met her once as she entered a shop on Little Santa Monica Blvd., and she was lovely.

Joan Crawford, Ann Blyth and Eve Arden in "Mildred Pierce"

If you've never seen "Mildred Pierce," you must. As Ida Corwin, Eve Arden delivers this classic line about Mildred's daughter Veda.

Bush Looks to God

With 69 days left in office, disgraced President George W. Bush appeared on the recently restored Intrepid aircraft carrier yesterday for Veteran's Day ceremonies. The ship is now a museum.

Bush looked up to see if God was going to strike him dead for his reprehensible treatment of veterans, and for overseeing two wars that sent thousands to their graves and accomplished absolutely nothing but the enrichment of his cronies. He lived.


Photo: Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

Richard Crowson, The Wichita Eagle

The Sport of King

The National Enquirer is reporting that CNN news zaydeh Larry King's rehabbed 7th wife, Shawn King, had been carrying on a torrid love affair with Hector Penate, the baseball coach of her two sons by Larry. Play ball!


Why the formerly Vicodin-addicted Shawn would ever want to mess around on that shayna gargoyle with this Cuban hottie is a mystery.


I just don't get it.

Brooke Shields and Michael Jackson

That's Brooke Shields as a child star...


... and Michael Jackson... in a forensic age progression...


... the two together above in 1979... and Michael of late below...


... and Brooke last night at a charity gala.


"I look forward to an America which will not be afraid of grace and beauty."

--JFK

Click here for more Michael Jackson posts.

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See also: One of These Things is a Baloney Sandwich

It's Sumner Redstone Time!

Multi-billionaire Viacom Chairman Sumner Redstone, 85, as he appeared at the National Breast Cancer Coalition's annual gala last night in NYC, and a Howdy Doody cookie jar. So different, and yet so alike.


Redstone Photo by Amy Sussman/Getty Images

Pit Bull in Lipstick

The lovely Rosie O'Donnell washed her hair and showed up for the Kids' Night on Broadway event last night in Manhattan. This makes me want a beer and a hard-boiled egg. And a beer. And two hard-boiled eggs.

Now start this video at 4:00, or play the whole thing if you've got 10 minutes.

When Bushie Met Obie

Bush: Any chance you could start a little early?

Obama: Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

When Laura Met Michelle

Laura: I just smile a lot and make sure they don't photograph me smoking.

Michelle: Mind if I start a little early?

So Long, Ya Bastard!

Here's the latest in Muslim militant funeral glam! When your dearly departed has just been gunned down by a firing squad for bombing a Bali nightclub and killing 202 people, cover his box with a gold and black cloth for that fanatical march through the Indonesian crowds!


Bomber Imam Samudra is seen arriving for his funeral in his hometown of Serang in the best fashion for a Muslim terrorist -- dead! He faced the firing squad on the prison island of Nusakambangan -- and whaddaya know, he didn't survive it.

But look at that fabulous coffin!

Camilla Goes to the Dogs

Her Royal Highness, Camilla (right), met with a four-footed friend (left) at a charity dog walk in London on Saturday, where the two shared hair grooming tips.


One of them had a great Saturday lei.

No Respetan

King Juan Carlos of Spain as he appeared yesterday on a visit to Tokyo, and the late comic Rodney Dangerfield. So different, and yet, so alike.

Amy and the Party Outfit

That quizzical-looking little boy is Angelo, the object of my imaginary daughter Amy's first crush... yes, they grow up so fast nowadays... and she's already big for 6. That's Angelo's mother Jennifer on the left, coaching his workout regimen, which according to Amy consists of "walking back and forth and then Jennifer gives him raisins and stuff."

I don't know where she ever learned it, but Amy insisted that she needed a "sporty bra" to work out with Angelo, and an outfit for his birthday party, which landed us in the Plus Size section at Old Navy, where Amy found some "Tummy Trimmer" jeans (I think she believed they had actual metaphysical power), and then in Marshall's, where she found her first brassiere, and I sang "Sunrise, Sunset" in my head.



Angelo's party was Sunday, and Amy said "a Chanel Suit would work" (no doubt something she picked up while watching "Lagerfeld Confidential" with her Auntie Jean at Brian and Charlie's house), and she only relented after being told that a Chanel Suit would be a little too dressy for a Glow in the Dark Birthday celebration at Gardena Bowling Center, where she first met Angelo during one of Carolyn's boyfriend Fahd's practices with the Gardena Ballerinas, of which Angelo's father Dave (who is recovering from the removal of what Amy called a "behind fatty tumor") is a member.


Amy insisted on buying this unfortunate dress, which she said was "very Chanel," and I was not of the mind to disabuse her of that misguided notion. Rarely offering an analogy that isn't food related, she said the pattern reminded her of "chocolate sushi," and I could not disagree. Of course, being Carolyn's daughter, Amy said she "must have new shoes and a bag" to go with it. The shoes she found quickly, saying, "These will be totally kicky, Ricky! -- and they match!"


Not one to interfere with the sublime machinations of my imaginary daughter's questionable but budding fashion sense, I suggested we move on to purses, and Amy said, "The only thing that will work is a tasteful clutch," leaving me with my brows raised, wide-eyed and nodding silently in the aisle like one of those fuzzy dogs one sees in the rear windows of restored Chevrolets.

Amy settled on this "tasteful" maribou-trimmed bag, which she said was "way slimming." And seeing her in the entire ensemble, I could not disagree, although Carolyn related a few contradictory words to me in a rather barbarian text message.


I called Amy on her Hello Kitty cell on Sunday night to see how it went, and she told me, "I was the belle of the bowling ball."

That's my girl.


Click here for more Amy stories.

Remembrance Sunday Hats

Her Majesty, Betty Deuce, put on her somber pancaked face, darker lipstick, and this wacky chapeau for Remembrance Sunday services in London on the 90th anniversary of the end of WWI. Nothing sets off a $400K diamond brooch like a cluster of poppies.

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, went for something a little spicier with a collapsed cake of ostrich plumes, while royal bud Sophie, Countess of Wessex, opted for a jaunty raked tam -- both remained appropriately moribund despite their comical millinery.


Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

You think you've got it rough? Take a look at Chexy's Saturday Matinee, Freak Show Edition, and count your blessings.




More heroes of the sideshow.




And still more anomalies of humankind.




Having trouble living with someone? Abby and Brittany show you how it's done.

Another Beauty Queen Down!

Miss Vietnam, Trần Thị Thuỳ Dung, yes, Tran Dung, was stripped of her crown after the Culture Ministry learned that the 18-year-old is a high school dropout. You can't do that in pageants! You can't be stupid and be a beauty queen! Who does she think she is, Sarah Palin?!

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

Toles, The Washington Post

Medical Marvel Britney Spears Meets Madge

Future Boniva saleswoman Madonna raised a sinewy arm to welcome the pharmacologically restored Britney Spears on stage at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles last night, where Madge shouted "Fuck you!" twice as part of her lyrical offering. Wow, Madonna is edgy.


Britney blew out her hair, which finally looks something like real hair. This time it wasn't Britney flashing her pudenda, it was Madge in her barely-there AARP crotch cover.

Nice of Madge to give Britney a boost in her recovery. One year ago, Brit was driving around in the Pumpkinmobile and rumored to be adopting Chinese twins. Memba that?

Condi is Tired

Dreckretary of State Condoleezza Rice looked like thirty cents worth of have mercy yesterday, with a tired conk, dark circles and a pearl necklace at a press conference in Israel after meeting with Foreign Affairs Minister Tzipi Livni (love that name). Earlier in the day, she had a little nosh with Prime Minister Ehud Olmert. This is how I look after eating too much brisket and latkes.

Today she's meeting with the Palestinians, namely Mahmoud Abbas -- seen here giving Condi a little finger wag under the watchful eye of terrorism granddaddy Yasser Airafart.


Rice, a former Chevron executive, has just 73 days left in office -- and ya gotta give her credit for trying to solve 3,000 years of fighting in her last months. I wonder how much money her Chevron stock made during the last year.

Former prezwannabe Sen. John Kerry has been talked about as Rice's successor, but Obama's camp has denied it. Some have said that former President Bill Clinton should get the job. You know the Clintons had to have brokered something for their support -- the next few weeks will tell what they wanted.

Obama’s transition team is headed by John Podesta, who served as chief of staff under Bill Clinton. Watch for Condi to sign a lucrative book deal and hit the speech circuit.

Getting Jigme with It

Nope, that's not "Dancing with the Stars" judge Carrie Ann Inaba relaxing at home after shitcanning Susan Lucci, it's His Majesty Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck of Bhutan, who was just crowned King in the Throne Room of the Tashichho Dzong in Thimphu. Got that? It's Wangchuck. Say it with me. Wangchuck.


Jiggy is 28, went to Oxford, is single -- and the youngest reigning monarch -- crowned today by his father in the wee Himalayan nation of 635,000.

Pic by Bhutan Government DIT via Getty Images

I Know Your Daddy's a Sultan

HRH Chuckie, Prince of Wales, tours the 14th Century ruins of Borobudur Temple in Indonesia, where he appeared to mimic the expression on 204 statues of Buddha that surround the temple. Being married to Camilla has clearly brought him closer to enlightenment.


Chuck, looking a little thick in a beige suit, then met with Sultan Hamengkubuwono X, who not only had a bad hair day, he just could not find an outfit that worked. I mean, please, when you know the future King of England is dropping by your palace, do you have to wear slippers?

Pix by Chris Jackson/Getty Images

North to Alaska!

It's back to Alaska for imbecile beauty queen reactionary Sarah "I'm Keeping My Baby" Palin and her supporting cast of unwed pregnant teen daughter, snowmobiling husband and assorted rugrats.

What a sad and ridiculous chapter in American politics we witnessed with the nomination of yet another preposterously unqualified candidate whose sole purpose was to pander to the religious right wing, in hopes that they might crawl out of their hate holes to support McGramps. They didn't. Karl Rove was wrong. The spectre of a stupid president was all too fresh after eight devastating years of Bushie, "also."

Thank goodness Tina Fey was able to portray this moron from the tundra with a caricature so similar to the real thing as to be nearly indistinguishable. But Fey did more than that, she laced her seething contempt in the slushy veil of comedy, leaving her doppelganger an object of worthy ridicule and appropriately sneering contempt.


At risk of further disgrace, no Republican leadership rushed to Palin's defense, only the shrill, whining, finger-wagging Elisabeth Hasselbeck, whose own gelatinous perspective is so comically Neanderthal that cynicism toward it seems almost redundant. They are both contemptible shrews whose gifts are inspiring the insipid and fostering the unfortunate divisiveness that has become the calling card of their elk-shooting ilk.

It's more than good riddance to Sarah Palin, it's the great heaving sigh of relief in knowing that we do not have to hear her idiotic pageant quiz nattering for the next four years, and we will not have to endure her as president -- for surely John McCain will soon announce that he has some form of dementia and will withdraw from public life.

Dasvidanya, Palin. Enjoy staring at Russia from your house with your new clothes from Saks. America is best served by keeping this vacuous pit bull in lipstick on a leash in Juneau.

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

Guy Badeaux (Bado), Ottawa - Journal LeDroit

How Now Brown Queen?

Betty Deuce shows you can wear black accessories with a brown getup, as seen in this pic of her greeting Canadian WWII vets in Trafalgar Square as part of Remembrance Day celebrations. Brown is clearly not her color, but her peeps love her anyway.

Pic by Oli Scarff/Getty Images

Election Night Coverage on ABC

It was apparent last night on ABC that Charlie Gibson and Diane Sawyer must absolutely hate each other. The set had them sitting nearly six feet apart -- so far apart, in fact, that the camera struggled to get them both on screen. Diane was relegated to constant marveling at the racial implications of the election, going so far at one point as to mention Harriet Beecher Stowe in some ridiculous remark that supported her gooey awe.

Sawyer, clad in a black dress and stockings, looked more like she'd just come from the Hudson family funeral than prepared to read election results. Both Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopoulos seemed to tilt their heads at Diane's constant racial comments like dogs who don't quite grasp a bit of human speech.

Obama Elected!!

"It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve -- to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day."

--Barack Obama in his victory speech, 11/4/08


There are a few moments in American history that I have lived through, where my national pride has stirred my Philadelphia roots, and this is one of them.

Americans have chosen unity over divisiveness, logic over unreasonableness, and hope over fear. It is in these choices that we celebrate our strength as a nation of righteous, good people who seek to resolve our social problems by practicing the tenets of our forefathers, who sought to defeat tyrants, to improve the station of every man, and to ensure equality, liberty and justice for all.

The President-elect represents a new America that has at last transcended race. America has resoundingly dumped the horror of Reaganomics die-hards, the fundamentalist bastards and their message of hate and intolerance, and the trickle-down dreamers content to build prisons instead of bridges, and indignantly denounce public programs while turning a blind eye to psychotic war spending.

But beyond the rejection of Bush and the dumbass Republican policies, is the acceptance of Obama's even logic, his intellectual demeanor, and his message of hope and change in an America that is as good as its promise.

The tasks before Obama are great indeed; he has the Herculean task of restoring America's prestige on the world stage, while repairing the devastating damage done by eight years of toxic Republican policies that have left our economy in shambles. Obama must extract us from a useless, devastating war that has bankrupted the country. The new captain of our ship of state will need to capitalize on the strong headwind of support, and steer us to safe shores.

God bless President-elect Barack Hussein Obama, and God bless America.

Election Day Today!

After the long, arduous road to this Election Day, we are finally ready to go to our polling places and do our civic duty, punctuating the campaigns and policies of both parties with a final simple ink dot or lever pull. Take nothing for granted, be sure to vote.

Today's election is a referendum on the failed policies of eight years of Republican horror, which have left our country bankrupt, in debt, with seventeen bank failures this year alone, with a collapsed economy because of unregulated industries gone greedy wild and the insane investment in a failed war that has done nothing but enrich Bush crony industries and the Vice President's former employer, Halliburton.

It is amazing to me that Republicans clamor about spending on fiscally responsible public programs, but turn a blind eye to the bankrupting spending in Iraq, which has now cost . For a full list of the Bush administration failures, click here.

Show your patriotism and throw the bums out. Vote Obama.

Strike.TV Presents Legend Stan Freberg in “Return Engagement”

During the 100-day WGA walkout, a number of writers decided it was time to start their own network, and the idea for Strike.TV was born. In rare Tinseltown fashion, it was launched in five months, showcasing the work of WGA members and various pros from sister guilds and unions. Now they've got one of the all-time comedy greats, Stan Freberg.

One of the top scribes attracted to the idea was writer/director Steven E. de Souza, writer of such mega-hits as “Die Hard,” “Die Hard 2” and “Lara Croft Tomb Raider,” -- his films have earned two billion at the box office. Now the master writer has penned a series of 5-to-10-minute sci-fi/suspense webisodes called “Unknown Sender,” which de Souza describes as “a cross between ‘The Twilight Zone’ and ‘Alfred Hitchcock Presents,” the stuff that, back in the day, used to scare the bejeezus out of us.

De Souza got hold of one of his idols, the author, voice actor and comedy legend Stan Freberg, 82, to appear in “Return Engagement,” about a retired Las Vegas performer named “The Great Garibaldi” -- who must use every trick in his repertoire to foil home invaders (played by Holly Kaplan and Geoff Meed). Here's the trailer.

Freberg got his start in showbiz in 1944 (!) doing the voice of Junyer Bear in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. He’s best known for his pioneering comedy records and song parodies. In 1957, "The Stan Freberg Show" was a replacement for Jack Benny on CBS radio. “Return Engagement” makes Freberg one of the few stars who has worked in every performance medium of the past 90 years; radio, puppetry, animation, film, recordings, nightclubs, commercials, TV and now the web. Freberg even opened for Frank Sinatra in Las Vegas -- the poster in the photo (from the Sinatra gig) was tweaked for “Return Engagement,” now playing on Strike.TV.

The series also stars Timothy Dalton, Joanne Whalley, and "Frau Farbissina" (in YouTube player pic with evidence) Mindy Sterling.

Camilla is Pretty in Pink

Her Royal Highness, Camilla, mixed it up on Halloween with the Sultan of Brunei, aka Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu'izzaddin Waddaulah, and HRH Pengiron Isteri Azarinaz at a banquet at the Royal Palace in Bandar Seri Begawan. Got all that? Note the comedy masks built into the tables! (click pix to enlarge)

Unfortunately, Camilla has been unable to attend to her roots during the 10-day Asian excursion. This is what the banquet looked like.


Word now comes from Asia that the 61-year-old Duchess of Cornwall, once described by senior royal aide Mark Bolland as "monumentally lazy," has left the Asian trip early because she can't bear the heat, while Chuck will head to Indonesia. Camilla had a hysterectomy last year.

In Camilla's first year after marrying Chuckie in 2005, she carried out only 38 solo engagements -- 20 fewer than the Queen Mother performed at the age of 92. Last year Cam undertook just 201 official duties, compared to the Queen's 440 engagements at the age of 82.


Pix: Getty Images

Amy and the Halloween Mishap

As you can see, my imaginary daughter Amy, 6, is looking more like her mother Carolyn every day. Amy's comical cow costume yielded her a very successful Halloween trick-or-treating bounty; with enough candy to start her own imaginary 7-Eleven. Yes, I know, she's big for 6.


Above is a picture Amy sent to me, saying, "You see, Ricky, I didn't get that much." Notice the uneaten fruit, which Carolyn provides (under court order). Carolyn allowed Amy to have "only a few pieces" (which probably means twenty), and conveniently kept the rest under guard... in her bedroom.

Oh, and the mishap, you're wondering? Carolyn accidentally sent the below photo of herself to everyone in her BlackBerry when an impish 6-year-old, who shall remain nameless, was playing with it. I credit Carolyn's boyfriend Fahd with the painting, and of course, the spelling. I know it's Carolyn because I recognize the TV that I paid for.


But enough nostalgia. Now it's November, and we're on the great march to Thanksgiving and Christmas, which Amy likes because Big Carolyn's candied yams with marshmallows are her "very very favorite," she said, doubling her adverbs in that piercingly (piercingly) irksome way exercised by Big Carolyn, Carolyn, and her sisters.

Amy and I had a lovely visit on Sunday. She was glad to escape the wrath of Carolyn for the day, who had to accompany Fahd to a Sci-Fi convention in Burbank. Amy made me breakfast in bed.


And I will tell you, dear reader, as I told Amy, it was delicious.


Click here for more Amy stories.

Goodbye Yma

The Peruvian Songbird, Yma Sumac, has died in Los Angeles at the age of 86. Sumac's incredible five-octave range made her a legend in her own time. Here's a bit from a French documentary about her, with some amazing footage and vocals.

Palin Pranked!

Dunderheaded Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin was pranked by a Quebec comedy duo "Masked Avengers," Sebastien Trudel and Audette, believing she was talking with French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Palin is utterly clueless to the end, reflective of her campaign.

Audette as Sarkozy says that French actor/singer Johnny Hallyday is his special adviser to the U.S., and refers to singer Stef Carse as Canada's prime minister. Palin gushes, "We should go hunting together!"

Palin says, "I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally, and your beautiful wife, oh my goodness, you've added a lot of energy to your country with that beautiful family of yours."

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

Three singers today! This is a guy named "alkirob" whose video I stumbled upon while looking for the song he's singing, "Autumn in New York."



And now, Lady Day singing "Fine and Mellow" in 1957, with tenor saxophonist Lester Young, one of the most famous "live jazz" performances in the history of TV, with support from Coleman Hawkins, Ben Webster, Gerry Mulligan, Roy Eldridge, Doc Cheatham, Vic Dickenson, Danny Barker, Milt Hinton, and Mal Waldron -- who I met in the '80s at the Parisian Room in Los Angeles.



As we get ready for our first president with strong ties to Hawaii, let's take a moment to salute Aunty Genoa Keawe, the First Lady of Hawaiian music in this clip from 1988, who died in February at age 89. She would have been 90 on Halloween.



Aloha.