Boo!

How about a little horror?! No, I'm not talking about McCain winning -- but Frankenstein!

Wicked Witch History

It almost wasn't Margaret Hamilton... watch this clip narrated by Angela Lansbury.

Pathetic Politics from McCain

A disoriented Gramps McCranky, looking for Joe the Plumber (who is one of the eye-rollingly horrid players in the Republican arsenal of horrors), gave this sad display on Thursday, while a delusional Sarah Palin discussed her plans for 2012. Boo!

Happy Halloween!

Agnes Moorehead gained everlasting fame as the meddlesome mother-in-law witch "Endora" on "Bewitched."

For the creepy story of what might have caused her death, click here.

Dinnertime for Aretha

Aretha Franklin now just opens her mouth and aides rush to shove food into it, as seen during a signing event in NYC for her new Christmas CD, "This Christmas Aretha."

Happy Halloween from Tori Spelling

Tori Spelling popped up at the opening of jeweler Neil Lane's new store on Melrose Place in Los Angeles.

Jennifer Aniston in Mayberry RFD

Jennifer Aniston and Andy Griffth, so different, and yet, so alike.

Camilla Visits the Sick

The loveliness that is HRH Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, stopped by St. Luke's Hospital in Tokyo to cheer up the sick children there. It is unknown if she was successful.


Chexydecimal London Bureau Chief Andy solved the flower mystery -- it's a poppy, part of Britain's Remembrance Day on Nov. 11 (like America's Veterans Day). I guess she figured she'd remind the Japanese of WWII while she was there.


John Lithgow turned 63 last week. He is believed to be trick-or-treating in Japan.

Obama Likes Palin's Wink

Phillies Win!!!

MVP Cole Hamels celebrates the World Series win for the Phillies, their first since 1980!

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

David Horsey, The Seattle Post-Intelligencer

Phillies Continue -- Right after This Word from Obama

Back in 1972, artist Gene Davis painted 400 feet of stripes in front of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Why can't all streets look like this?

The Phillies pick up their rain-delayed World Series game in the bottom of the 6th inning tonight, followed by Obama's TV commercial on all the networks -- except ABC.

Camilla Still in Japan

Her Royal Highness, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall and her ironclad hair continued her tour of Japan with a stop at the Nara Craft Museum, wearing this enchanting paisley see-through number and that irksome red flower again, while revealing a very sturdy brassiere. The current whereabouts of John Lithgow -- still unknown.

Goodnight, Frau Leachman

It's over. Cloris Leachman finally got the boot from "Dancing with the Stars" last night, after an astounding series of nearly mystifying performances.

Would the dancer care for a brandy before retiring? Kudos to Corky Ballas -- Cloris should give him one of her Emmys.

I'm just glad they sent her home before she broke a hip doing another dumb hip hop routine. It's been fun watching the dotty dame defy age and deflate the judges with obscenities. Watch for more Cloris on New Year's Day, when she's Grand Marshal of the Rose Parade!

And one more time, Cloris in "Young Frankenstein."

Jennifer Aniston in Back to the Future IV

Jennifer Aniston and "Dynasty" crone Linda Evans ... different, and yet, so alike, someday.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Campaigns for FOX Job

"The View's" resident shrew, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, campaigned in Florida for Republican wardrobe hog/Moose killer Sarah Palin. Word has it that when McCain/Palin loses, Sarah will be hunting for a media gig -- and Hasselbitch seems a most likely partner for a FOX chat show.


Liz and Sarah took the opportunity to unveil their new slogan, "Cunty First," with Liz showing the appropriate gesture.

On the upside, it's nice that the stupid people support each other. I hope I don't make Elisabitch cry.

Camilla's Good Side

Photographers following the royal couple in Japan managed to finally captured Camilla's good side as she curtsied before Her Imperial Majesty the Empress Michiko of Japan, who has a Bachelors in English Literature and was the first commoner to marry into the imperial family, when Akihito asked her to get hitched in 1958.


Charles took the opportunity to admire Camilla's form. Then they all went out for Japanese food.

The Japanese have been wary of high-ranking visitors since 1992, when George Bush Sr. greeted the arrival of a Japanese beef steak by projectile vomiting into the lap of Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa.

Phillies Could Win World Series Tonight

But more importantly, Cole Hamels will be pitching!


You didn't know your Chexy was from Philadelphia?

Jennifer Aniston in High School Musical 3

Jennifer Aniston and Zac Efron ... different, and yet, so alike.

Camilla Takes Japan

No, that's not John Lithgow, that's Camilla Parker Bowles, Duchess of Cornwall on a royal visit to Japan, looking fresh-faced, freshly shellacked and downright purty with her fashionable flower and diamond grasshopper pin.


Camilla's royal look wowed the Japanese, who immediately started a Chapstick-only makeup craze and the wearing of origami flowers and insects. The event begins a ten-day tour of Asia for the royal couple. Yay!


That's John Lithgow.

Amy and the Halloween Costume

My imaginary daughter Amy took me to get her a Halloween costume on Sunday, having decided that she would like to avail herself of the annual opportunity to get as much unrestricted candy as possible.


Her first choice was to trick-or-treat as one of her favorite foods, the french fry. After trying it on, she muffled, "It's a little greasy in here... and it's too tight!" This was the first french fry ever that Amy didn't like.


We then went to another shop where she tried on her other favorite, this m&m costume, which she said smelled "like mouthwash inside." Plus, she didn't like the blue color, and it was all they had in her size. She's big for 6.


Amy then meandered through the store and found this cow costume, which she tried on and asked, "Got chocolate milk?" With a built-in audience of shoppers and pierced and tattooed store personnel, she persisted. "Mooooove over!" she said after bumping into a store display. A few shoppers began to laugh at the humorous little cow, and of course, I couldn't have been prouder.

"How is it?" I asked. "It's udderly fantastic, Ricky! Get it? Udderly?! Get it?! I know, I'm really milkin' it!" she convulsed inside her bovine disguise, which I purchased for her. She wanted to wear it home, and because I had to drop her off at Carolyn's anyway, I said okay.


As you can see by Carolyn's expression, she didn't like it, and asked what happened to the m&m costume idea, to which Amy replied, "Don't have a cow, mom."

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

It's been 8 years since the "Wassup" guys said "Wassup?"



Say goodbye to the biggest idiot ever to inhabit the White House. Only 86 days to go until W is 86ed.



They've still got some time.

Obama Still Leading

According to the latest polls, Obama is way out in front, and it's looking more like our long national Republican nightmare is coming to a close, with the Reagan revolution going down in the flames of what happens to a deregulated market. Can you smell the big goodbye?


Check out the latest election stats at fivethirtyeight.com.

Pandas

Twin giant panda cubs were photographed at a research center in Yaan on their 100th day naming ceremony. One was a little coy.



There are approximately 3,000 giant pandas left in the wild. They live 20-30 years in captivity.

Pic: China Photos/Getty Images

Sepaktakraw

Rosmadi Bin Abd Ghani of Malaysia tries to block the ball kicked by Pimai Wichaiwong of Thailand at a beach sepaktakraw match on day seven of the 2008 Asian Beach Games at Sanur Beach in Bali.

These guys look like they'd be a lot of fun.


Pic: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Someone Left a Cake Out in the Rain...

...and it's on top of Betty's head! Here's the royal hotness of Her Majesty in a Christmas-ready look on her 2-day visit to Slovakia, flashing her elusive smile.


A glamorous throng of Slovaks came to greet Her Highness.


Pix: Getty Images

Phillies Take Game One

That's pitching ace Cole Hamels and his curious extension, who led the Phillies to a 3-2 victory over the Tampa Bay Rays in Game One of the World Series last night in Florida.


No Philadelphia team has won a championship since 1983, when the structure One Liberty Place rose above the statue of William Penn that stands atop City Hall, creating the "Curse of Billy Penn" -- because City Hall was no longer the tallest building in the City of Brotherly Love.

Palin Finds Support in Cincinnati

Make your own joke.

Pic: Getty
Hat tip: Johnny Lopez

Happy Birthday, Judge Judy

Someday, October 22nd will be a national holiday. The Solomon of our time, Judge Judy, is 66.


I absolutely love this righteous bitch, and it's one of my guilty pleasures to watch her eviscerate the imbeciles who stand before her bench, reducing their stupidity with her implacable wisdom, insisting that people take responsibility for their actions.

Judy's most recent 4-year contract was worth $100 million and ends in 2009. She's extended through 2012, but details of the new contract were not disclosed. After Oprah, she's the highest paid woman on TV.

Her boat is appropriately called "Her Honor."

Toni Braxton Gets the 'Dancing' Ax

Heart patient Toni Braxton was booted off "Dancing with the Stars" last night. She can now get back to performing at the Flamingo in Las Vegas...


... where VegasRex.com pointed out that you could stay in a room behind Toni's vagina.


And with convention business down in Vegas, there are a lot of hotel bargains to be snatched.

Halloween Masks

Joan Collins, 75, appeared at the Vanity Fair Portraits opening at L.A. County Museum of Art last night. There was a slight scuffle when curators attempted to put Joan on display in Antiquities. Her hair is believed to be human.


Joan's 5th husband is 43. Based on previous photographs, her hair is 6. Linda Evans will be 66 in November, seen below in a 2007 photo wearing a wig purchased at the Andy Warhol estate sale.


John Forsythe is 90. This photo of him was taken 3 years ago for a Dynasty Reunion show, not at Madame Tussauds.


Science is a wonder.

Beauty and the Beast

In advance of Halloween merriment, Donatella Versace rolled out of her crypt and into the Whitney Museum/Versace event last night, and posed with Dr. McDreamy, whom she apparently believed was a real doctor and asked him about further waist liposuction. It was either a language barrier or she couldn't see through her eye makeup.


Donatella's daughter, Allegra, inherited Uncle Gianni's 700M fortune after his murder in Florida.

Donatella was able to walk unaided. McDreamy's hand was not injured from touching Donatella. He's just getting over the hand injury from when that nurse stabbed him with a scalpel. Do NOT fuck with nurses... they will cut you!

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

Nate Beeler, The Washington Examiner

The Man Who Will Be King

His Royal Highness Prince William of Wales, 26, as seen this weekend at the start of the Enduro Africa 2008 race to raise money for the Unicef, Sentebale and Nelson Mandela Children Fund Charity.

Photos: WireImage

This racing garb is a good look for Willie, rather than those stuffy navy blazers with gold buttons he's been togging about in lately, but given the family history, this racing does make me a little nervous. After William, Prince Harry is next in line to the throne.


Ah, England.

Amy and Stumpy the Cat

It seems there's nothing Carolyn won't do to torment me, from not answering my IMs, to claiming she's "too busy" to keep track of my imaginary daughter Amy's Weight Watchers points, but she reached a new low when she took Amy to the Amanda Foundation on Saturday, where they adopted Stumpy the Cat, formerly known as MooMoo.


"I saw him and I just knew he should be mine," crowed Amy, oblivious to the fact that exposure to cat dander causes me to asphyxiate. This is a fact, I might add, of which Carolyn is keenly aware, and which I'm sure any complaint about would yield her standard response: "Take me to court."

She's been a little edgy since Fahd's bowling team "The Gardena Ballerinas" (below) lost their league semi-finals last weekend, after Fahd (left) injured his right hand in an auto accident -- when Carolyn accidentally sat on it in his Kia.


I am glad Carolyn had Amy for the weekend, because Stumpy apparently suffered a myocardial infarction and died Sunday while attempting to leap onto a hideous green ottoman in Carolyn's living room -- which I was amazed to see she'd finally cleaned up a bit -- having found inspiration in a court order.


Amy sought consolation in six boxes of special cookies I'd purchased for her, telling me she left the other six boxes "to be good."


Fahd put Stumpy in his bowling bag and they took him to L.A. Pet Park in Calabasas, where for $75 he was cremated amid great pomp and ceremony befitting a briefly beloved kitty.


Fahd was a little miffed that they'd also cremated his bowling bag.

Nancy Lives

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan, 87, one-time co-star of Gary Coleman, has been discharged from UCLA's Ronald Reagan Medical Center and is expected to recover from a fractured hip after a fall at her Bel Air Mansion last week.


Nancy's home, purchased for the Reagans by his former "Kitchen Cabinet" of cronies, held the address of 666 St. Cloud Drive, but they changed it to 668 before the moving in, so as not to give away any affiliation with Satan.

See also: Just Say No,
Nancy's 87,
Ted Headed Home

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

Edie Adams passed this week, so here's Lillian Roth, singing in 1933's "Eadie Was a Lady," in the role made famous on Broadway by Ethel Merman -- the song by Cole Porter. Lillian's lush life was the subject of the melodramatic "I'll Cry Tomorrow" with Susan Hayward.



The great composer, arranger and trumpet player Neal Hefti also died this week in the San Fernando Valley at age 85. He's best known for writing the theme to TV's "Batman," but this is one of my favorite pieces of his music -- Repetition -- with Charlie Parker and the Neal Hefti Orchestra in 1947.



And speaking of the Valley... how about a little Bing Crosby, in a piece of film that barely survived -- showing Bing entertaining at a USO club during WWII. His last words were uttered in Spain on October 14, 1977 when he collapsed and died after playing eighteen holes; "That was a great game of golf, fellas."



Bonus! From 1979, Here's Joni Mitchell, Pat Metheny, Jaco Pastorius, Don Alias with "Coyote," as seen on her "Shadows and Light" DVD.

Got Heidi?

Milk is awful, but this ad is great.


Now you know what a lacto-Bavarian hooker looks like.

Hurley's Girls

Elizabeth Hurley's globes were illuminated last night at the Global Illumination Initiative event at the Tower of London to raise awareness for breast cancer.


It appears that her dress has its own global initiative.

The Camera Puts on Ten Pounds

Victoria Beckham, as she appeared in Madrid last night to debut her new line of jeans.


She is expected to live.

Searching for the Perfect Queen

Betty Deuce made an appearance at Google HQ in the UK yesterday, wearing this colossal aquamarine millinery masterpiece and some Certainly Red by Revlon lipstick.


She's not just your everyday queen on the internet.

Joe the Plumber, McCain Needs You

John McCain repeatedly called on Joe the Plumber in last night's final debate, won by Barack Obama. It was clear to the American people last night that McCain clearly needs help with a major clog.


Watch this video to see McCain, just before the above photo of him was taken.

Edie Was a Lady

Edie Adams died yesterday at 81. She was the widow of television comedy pioneer Ernie Kovacs, and a 1960s bombshell who is best remembered as the face of Muriel cigars.


Kovacs died in a single car crash in 1962 at the corner of Beverly Glen and Santa Monica Blvds. Their daughter, Mia, was killed at 22 when her car went off Mulholland Drive in 1982. Edie also owned a chain of "Edie Adams Cut & Curl" hair salons.

Cloris Leachman played Ernie Kovacs' mother in the 1984 TV movie, in which Jeff Goldblum played Ernie, and Melody Anderson played Edie.

Adams sang "That's All" on the final episode of "The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour" in 1960, when Lucy and Desi weren't even speaking to each other anymore. Kovacs is in the clip too.

BBQ at Grandma's!

I don't know why people love scary movies when real life can be so terribly frightening. This wacky mother and son were arrested north of Sacramento after allegedly cremating grandma in the backyard cement barbecue and continuing to cash her retirement checks for almost a year. Perhaps the grandson misunderstood when his mother said, "Let's barbecue, Grandma!"


That hatted flute player (I've known a few of those) is Kathleen Allmond, 50, who along with son Tony, 30, were arrested after the sheriff found that their backyard BBQ contained remains of grandmother Ramona, who reportedly died of natural causes at age 84. Maybe they're just do-it-yourselfers who were trying to save a little coin on high funeral expenses and got a little carried away. Granny's death is now under investigation. Good idea.


Tony has some type of wastebasket tattooed on his forehead, and I can tell even from this grainy pic that it wasn't good idea. Mom had another creative idea. "Kathleen Allmond then allegedly made a necklace with a portion of her mother's skull, which she wore around her neck," reports FOX news, and then posted it on her MySpace account. You see, it's not good when folks watch too much of that Martha Stewart and her wacky crafting ideas.


It's nice to have a few of Grandma's things around when she passes... like her monthly Social Security checks. The two are being held on $30K bail on charges of felony embezzlement, elder abuse and conspiracy.

Babs Has Claws Out for Palin

Broadway screecher Barbra Streisand hates Sarah Palin nearly as much as I do, and perhaps more, since she's got a billion dollars behind her loathing. Babs posted this rant on her blog today:

Who is Sarah Palin?

Until the Republican Convention, very few had ever heard of Sarah Palin…and now this mean-spirited campaigner is asking who is Barack Obama???

I’m asking who is Sarah Palin???

• I know that she's a woman who doesn’t believe in allowing women the right to choose their own reproductive health decisions even if they are victims of rape…but approves of these victims getting billed by the government for the rape kits used to examine them.
• I know she’s a beauty pageant runner-up who is a gun totin’ extremist in her views on the environment, religion, women’s choice and the separation of church and state.
• I know she’s a woman who along with John McCain would divide this country while pledging that she and the Senator are “mavericks” who know how to reach across the aisle.
• I know that as mayor of the small town of Wasilla she increased spending by 63% and left behind a $19 million long-term debt, which was non-existent before she took office.
• I know she hired the same good-ol'-boy network of Washington lobbyists she says she will fight if elected, in order to secure millions of dollars of earmarks for Wasilla.
• I know that she’s been found guilty of abusing her power as governor by pressuring a state official to fire her former brother-in-law and then firing the official when he refused…an investigation that began prior to her selection of Vice President.
• And I know that the American public has had less than two months to vet Sarah Palin, and during this time the press has had to fight tooth and nail to secure just two network interviews with her…while she still refuses to appear on the tougher Sunday new shows.

On the stump, Sarah Palin and John McCain continue to avoid addressing the critical issues facing our country. Neither of them provides any substantive conversation on what they will do to steer our country on a journey back to prosperity. Palin’s sheer ignorance and lack of experience precludes her from speaking thoughtfully about the financial and foreign policy dilemmas we face. And John McCain’s voting record forces him to change the subject. McCain knows his policies have contributed to the unraveling of our financial systems due to excessive deregulation. McCain knows that he supported the war in Iraq since its inception, which has been a tremendous financial and military drain on our country. Both Sarah Palin and John McCain know that if this election continues to be about the housing market, the economy, healthcare, the environment, and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan… the issues that affect everyday Americans…they will lose this election. And after eight years of Republican control that has left this country in deep distress…they should lose. So now that we know who Sarah Palin is…do we want her a heartbeat away from the Presidency?

Think what you will about her singing -- I can't bear it -- but the woman is politically on the mark.

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

Pat Bagley, Salt Lake Tribune

One Drop at a Time

The earth lost a good friend yesterday. Dorothy Green, Founder of Heal the Bay, passed away at her home in California at age 79. The cause was melanoma. She began her water crusade to stop pollution in Santa Monica Bay. She again proved that a single voice could unite many, and change the world. Dorothy never surrendered.

Green began her water fight by bringing awareness to the sewage drains that emptied into Santa Monica Bay. She started Heal the Bay in her living room with other activists -- eventually becoming a force in environmental groups with 15,000 members. She went on to found other vital water protection organizations, and mentored others to lead the fight for clean water and other water issues. In the 1970s, she campaigned for Proposition 20, which led to the establishment of the California Coastal Commission.


She spoke at Heal the Bay's 2005 anniversary -- just 11 days after major surgery. This year, she appeared at a board meeting a week after having her spleen and kidney removed. Two weeks ago, as she lay dying in a hospice, she wrote this plea for water policy, which ran in the L.A. Times last week.

Heal the Bay's Executive Director Mark Gold said, "Until her last breath, she was going to try to make this a better place."

Whatever you can do to make the earth a better place, do it.

Donations can be made to Heal the Bay.

Bob and Mitzi, Cher and Barbie

That's the fierce-in-his-time designer Bob Mackie, 68, and 1950s human relic Mitzi Gaynor, 77, as they appeared Sunday at Hollywood Life's 5th annual Hollywood Style Awards (whatever the hell that is) at the Pacific Design Center in West Hollywood, where a gay old time was had by all.


Bob Mackie is best known for his splashy costumes, like Carol Burnett's hilarious curtain rod dress in her 'Gone with the Wind' sketch, and Cher's outfit at the 1986 Oscars.


Mackie has also designed for Marlene Dietrich, Judy Garland... and Barbie.

Amy and the Baking Day

Carolyn and her boyfriend Fahd had to go away this weekend for Fahd's Amway meeting at the Comfort Inn in San Diego. Apparently he's the leading seller of Dish Drops in the Los Angeles area, having enlisted his entire family to sell them. Even my imaginary daughter Amy tried to sell me some, but of course, I use Ivory Liquid. Neither Dish Drops nor Ivory were able to remove Carolyn's wedding band, which did not remain on her hand because of an excess of sentiment.


This left Amy and me plenty of time to try some of her new recipes from the bread baking book Auntie Jean so kindly bought for her, leaving me both grateful and with a slight desire for neck wringing.


It seems like just yesterday when my Amy was 4, and got her first of three Easy Bake Ovens from Big Carolyn, a contributing factor in Amy's BMI landing her in the 96th percentile in weight for her age group. She's now quite big for 6.

We got right into our baking day despite my reluctance to encourage more carbohydrates being added to Amy's diet. Our first endeavor was not exactly camera-ready for an issue of Martha Stewart Living. Amy called this "Extra Crispy Bread," using the extensive vocabulary of fast food sloganeering she's gleaned from Carolyn's expertise in the convenient cuisine of the dismissively informed.


I went to my office to take a phone call from my boss, Mr. Wiggins, and when I returned five minutes later Amy declared that we should try baking something else, since after eating the unburned portion of the Extra Crispy loaf, and some of the burned portion, she said, "It was a little salty." She had generously saved me a bite-sized portion, which was indeed a little salty. And burned.

Our second attempt, like many second attempts in life, went in a whole new direction which Amy dubbed "Pizza Pals." I assure you, pizza has never been her friend, and it wasn't on Sunday either.


Using a knife that I clearly recalled having been the one Carolyn once threatened to run through my spleen, I scraped away the burned portion of the Pizza Pals, which Amy then decorated with ketchup and some grated Kraft Parmesan cheese she just happened to have in her Jonas Brothers backpack.


And I will tell you, dear reader, as I told Amy, "It was delicious."

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

With the stock market going kablooey and the world markets acting like a slapstick comedy, I thought it'd be a good time for a pie fight! No one did it like The Three Stooges -- here's Moe, Larry and Curly in 1941's "In the Sweet Pie and Pie."



Blake Edwards staged the pie fight to end all pie fights in "The Great Race," with Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, Natalie Wood and Peter Falk.




Former Miss Oklahoma and born again hater Anita Bryant took a most memorable pie in the face from a gay activist, and then began to pray. Hilarious.



Richest man in the world, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates was not safe from meringue.



And for one more surprise pie fight, click here.

Palin Covering Stigmata?

Copter shootin' Sarah was sporting a huge bandage on her palm yesterday, leading some religious zealots to wonder if their political savior was exhibiting the latest in Born Again chic -- stigmata!


Followed closely by beer wench blonde millionairess Cindy McCain, who's keeping a close watch on McCain since he might have Alzheimer's, Sarah waved her bandaged mitt to a crowd of white folk with no brains.

This triumvirate terrifies me!


Photo: Joshua Lott/Getty Images

Dodgers Down One

The Dodgers lost game one in the NLCS playoffs against the Phillies, whose Left Fielder Pat Burrell is seen here.


Ah, America's pastime. Game two tonight in Philly. Burrell is #5.

Suri Responds to Scientology Questions

Suri Cruise took time out from writing her memoirs to grab a cup of barley water and answer a paparazzo's question on what she thought of Scientology.


While she didn't actually speak (because she's not allowed to), her expression says it all.

Palin Shows What She Has to Offer

When asked what she really had to offer the American public, Dumbernor Sarah Palin showed her upraised bare palm and said, "A whole lotta nuthin'!"


The moose huntin' Witch of Wasilla let her hair down for an event in Wisconsin, where a CNN /Time/Opinion Research poll of 859 voters taken October 3-6 shows Obie ahead of Grampy 51%-46%.

She can always get work as a waitress at Kate Mantilini.


Photo: Jim Watson/Getty/AFP

Does McCain Have Alzheimer's?

This sure explains a lot of the speech problems McCain is having, along with the mood swings and wild actions like "I'm suspending my campaign!" This video makes a lot of sense (be patient, it refers to McCain after the first minute). McCainus is 72. We can not have another president with Alzheimer's.



In Pennsylvania on a campaign stop... McCain said this.

Check out some documentation on StopThinkVote.com.

Obama Fan

This gorgeous photo was taken at an Indiana rally where Senator Obama spoke on Wednesday.


Stan Honda/AFP/Getty Images

McCain Loses Debate, Proves He's Nuts

Gramps McCranky revealed himself to the American people last night through manic, stumbling answers, showing what a dangerously aloof, angry, out of touch, war-mongering, doddering old crazy he is. While he didn't offer the same chipper, can-do maverick drivel offered by Palin in the VP debate, he did give us a glimpse of the manaical, unpredictable, hot-tempered pisspot he is. Danger, Will Robinson.


Obama showed his continuing steady hand and grace under pressure -- confirming again that in these turbulent times ahead, we need a cool hand "at the tiller" as McCranky said. I do not understand how anyone can believe that more of the same Republican nonsense can get us out of this global quagmire. Obama is right; we need a new approach, and fast.


The pundits were calling the debate a win for Obama just moments after it ended. This means that the campaign will continue to turn ugly for the McCain/Rove propaganda machine. Tonight we saw the indignant McCain refer to Senator Obama as "that one." Expect McCain to tip into even more overt racism in the last three weeks before election day. For sure, they will attempt to make a Willie Horton out of Obama. It's already begun.

It's a sad, pathetic state of affairs for Republicans, who must watch King George as he leaves the country in the crapper, having enriched his cronies, patrons and the oil oligarchy that spawned his evil. Now, their last puppet dances before a nation saying, "Yeah, the surge worked. I'll bomb 'em all and start more wars! More economic manipulation, that'll work!" It is more than shocking that even the most narrowminded right wing religious zealots think that Sarah Palin is a good idea as a potential leader of the free world. God help them all.


Save the country and the world from this Republican madness. Vote Obama.

"Hey, Mr. Willllsonnnnnn..."

From Chexydecimal London Bureau Chief Andy

Grandpa McCranky has been morphing into the ultimate archetype of embittered, out-of-touch geriatric rage; Mr. Wilson (Joseph Kearns) from Dennis the Menace. Huffing and bellowing at anything that disturbs his delicate sense of the status quo, he's perpetually annoyed by the young, the fresh, the new.

By contrast, Barack Obama has been exemplifying another, perhaps more obscure (for those born after the 1960s) television character, Mr. Dixon (played by Lloyd Haynes) from the ahead-of-its-time multi-culti sitcom-dram, "Room 222." Intelligent, kind, measured, unflappable, always able to bring opposing sides together, he was the model teacher for a generation of TV fans.

The veep candidates have their own role models in television history. Biden is Sheriff Andy Taylor (Andy Griffith)... widowed father of a young son (two in the case of Biden), wise and competent, experienced and able to explain things clearly but without condescension.


Palin is Peggy Hill (voiced by Kathy Najimy). Airheaded, but certain of her own intelligence, Peggy is a vacuous, controlling shrew.

Which pair seems more suited to lead the country out of the absolute mess it's in?

Period Piece

Stars are supposed to have stylists who prevent them from appearing in public looking less than their best. Halle Berry's stylist must be on vacation.


Ms. Berry appeared with baby daddy Gabe at the Women in Hollywood tribute in Beverly Hills, and it appears she has had more than one little accident.

Debate Tonight -- Fire Up Your Radios

It's Debate Night again in America, with Obie and McCainus trundling off to Nashville to have a go at each other's jugulars amid a plunging stock market and fears of a worldwide economic grilled cheese sandwich, which will undoubtedly bear the image of Sarah Palin. I don't like watching Grandpa McCranky scold that kindly fellow from Illinois. I just hope Frank Capra has scripted the ending for this battle of Evil vs. Good.


Grandpa should be in extra cranky mode tonight after the latest polls show him slipping faster than a nursing home senior on a shower floor with no safety tread. It should be fun to watch him amble around the Town Hall unassisted. Expect him to turn on more of that Cheneyesque charm ... and expect Obie to stay the course with the same poised responses, bolstered by his upswing in the polls.

McCheese's numbers won't be helped by the mortgage quake about to be followed by the tsunami of credit default. As the Brits used to say, "Keep Calm and Carry On."


Tune in at 9PM ET/6PM PT. The Rove machine should have Gramps in a lather, and it will be irritatingly good fun to watch him get his nasty on. This is truly reality TV.

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

Rex Babin, The Sacramento Bee



Bill Day, The Commercial Appeal

Obama -- The New FDR

The New Yorker says it best.


Illustration by Bob Staake

Amy and the Girls' Day Out

It's good for your children to spend time with their relatives -- and I have to share my imaginary daughter Amy with her mother Carolyn's relatives. Carolyn told me her Aunt Gertrude once took her to Macy's for new clothes but was unburdened by the nuisance of having to pay for them, and how her parents had to pick her up at a lovely place called Sybil Brand Institute for Women.


Amy spent part of the weekend with her Auntie Jean (left) and Jean's girlfriend, Margo-Lynnae, seen in the above photo taken by Amy with her Hello Kitty cell at the "Wiccan Daughters of Bilitis" memorial for Del Martin that Jean thought would be "a good idea for Amy to experience, because she's a woman." She is big for six. Amy told me about the event with the innocently dismissive, "I dunno, they kept talking about being feminisht."

Then they took Amy for an organic lunch at Urth Caffé in West Hollywood, where Amy enjoyed the Tuna Quesadilla and a piece of coconut custard pie. Amy told me she couldn't understand why Jean and Margo laughed so hard when Jean said, "Margo-Lynnae loves pie." I was relieved when Amy accepted my open-eyed shrug and raised brow as answer enough.

After dropping off Margo at her Ear Candling class, Jean took Amy to A Different Light Bookstore, where Amy browsed and found "a diet book" ... the autobiography of Kaye Ballard, "How I Lost 10 Pounds in 53 Years," which seemed like a good idea to Amy.


Amy was overjoyed to have also found this cookbook.


As luck would have it, I have Amy next weekend, when we'll be exploring the joys of home-baked rye.

O.J. Convicted -- Could Face Life in Prison

"Sorry about being so late on that O.J. Simpson conviction thingy.

Love,

God"

Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

It's Buster Keaton's birthday! One of the great screen clowns, who practically invented slapstick... and mostly did his own stunts... here's a short taste, with music by Radiohead.



Here's a bit of a BBC documentary on the great Dinah Washington, at the end, it links to the rest. Man, this is good.



Ella Fitzgerald in Stockholm in 1966 -- with one of my favorite songs in the whole word, "How High the Moon," lyrics by Nancy Hamilton and music by Morgan Lewis. Nobody was ever better.




And because I love you all... one more... Ella in Sweden, 1963, with some Brazilian cool. Desafinado.

Palin: Winking at America

In one of the most perniciously disturbing events of recent pop culture memory, say, since the debate between McCain and Obama, the former beauty queen with the affable smile, Down syndrome baby and an unwed pregnant teen brought her Reaganesque soccer mom tundra moose-killin' folksiness to the podium last night, answering questions with all the prepared panache of a Miss Alaska contestant in that last part of the pageant when judges decide if she'll be able to wear the tiara without disgracing the title.

Decorum requires that I not publish the things I said directly to Gov. Palin while she spoke. What struck me repeatedly was the way she looked each time she finished speaking -- when her neck muscles tightened and her eyes squared as if to say, "Did I put that one over okay?" She'd mildly wince, as though she'd been pinched by her auto-repulsive inadequacy.

Gov. Palin need not worry too much, as over 62 million voted for fellow dumbass George W. Bush in 2004, believing his countrified baloney and down-home jackassity were just what America needed -- and sure enough, more Americans are now homeless, unemployed and as impoverished as the down-home hillbillies the two portray themselves as.


I kept trying to figure out who Palin reminded me of, and kept coming back to Peg Bundy, another dumbass bubblehead who has gotten on with her good looks and quick tongue, loved by millions despite and perhaps because of her idiocy.

Yes, I can easily imagine Palin as President of the United States, and that's why I'm skipping breakfast this morning.

"That is not so, but because that's just a quick answer, I want to talk about, again, my record on energy versus your ticket's energy ticket, also."

--Sarah Palin during debate

Fatwa for Zardari's Palin Flirt

If you're going to flirt with Sarah Palin, don't be a Pakistani president. You can get yourself killed for saying, "Hey, Toots, nice specs!" or "Wanna play 'Kiss the Moose'?" or "You're pretty, lady."


As if it's not enough being prez of a nation under siege, Asif Ali Zardari, widower of assassinated leader Benazir Bhutto, set-off the inner waistband bombs of radical Muslims with his sexy response to Palin at the UN, and now he's got himself a big fat fatwa!

Asif said Palin was "even more gorgeous in life" and that he might hug her if she insisted. Oh yeah, he oughta die.

Palin "debates" Biden tonight -- and that means Tina Fey has her work cut out for her this Saturday!


See Also: Palin Lookalike in Assassination TV Movie

You Better Be Really Nice to Your Mailman

My mailman is a really nice guy. I had no idea he might one day save my life.

Fed health honchos are starting a little life saving plan in benign Minneapolis-St. Paul -- to let letter carriers stockpile a supply of emergency antibiotics so they're protected and can deliver them to the rest of the city if some meshuggeneh sends more of that pesky anthrax mail. Hey, wait, how's that gonna work?

This is Uncle Sam's solution to distributing drugs in case of a bioterror attack. For instance, if you inaled some anthrax, you might survive if you started on antibiotics within 48 hours. This allows a new urgency to the banal "Is the mail here yet?"

This program was tested in Philadelphia, and 50 carriers reached 53,000 households in eight hours. To make sure letter carriers were themselves protected, it meant supplying them with enough doxycycline for them and their families, so they could start taking the pills and then go out and bring your junk mail and save your life, so you can live to redeem those coupons for CVS!

Feds blamed microbiologist Bruce Ivins for the 2001 anthrax letters that killed five and sickened 17 others. He killed himself this past summer with an overdose -- not anthrax.

Mail's here!

The Day the Senate Saved Net Radio

SAVED!

As you know from my post about the net radio service Pandora, I'm just wild about it. I listen to it all the time, because it "plays only the music I like." This week, amid the economic gobbledegook going on in D.C., the Senate took a very cool moment to pass the Webcaster Settlement Act, allowing Pandora and similar radio services the right to negotiate royalties (from 2006-2015) with the SoundExchange coalition representing the music industry, reports Gizmodo.com.

Pandora's lovely boss, Tim Westergren, said a few months ago that the current royalty rate might drive the brilliant site into bankruptcy -- but now they're saved! Screw Wall Street, I've got my Lionel Hampton and Amy Winehouse stations!

Haven't heard about Pandora? Click here.

Obama Takes the Lead

Here's the latest just released in the Quinnipiac Poll. Looks like Grandpa McCranky has his work cut out for him. Then again, they steal elections in this country. Biden and Palin will "debate" on Thursday -- and if she's anything like her moose-caught-in-the-headlights performance with Katie Couric, it should be highly entertaining.

Here are the Quinnipiac Poll results:

"FLORIDA: Obama 49 - McCain 43 pre-debate; Obama 51 - McCain 43 post-debate; OHIO: Obama 49 - McCain 42 pre-debate; Obama 50 - McCain 42 post-debate; PENNSYLVANIA: Obama 49 - McCain 43 pre-debate; Obama 54 - McCain 39 post-debate Friday's presidential debate, Gov. Sarah Palin's sagging favorability and more voter confidence in Sen. Barack Obama's ability to handle the economy are propelling the Democrat to wider likely voter leads over Republican John McCain in Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania, according to simultaneous Quinnipiac University Swing State polls released today.

No one has been elected President since 1960 without taking two of these three largest swing states in the Electoral College. Results from the independent Quinnipiac (KWIN-uh-pe- ack) University polls conducted before and after the debate show:

Florida: Obama up 49 - 43 percent pre-debate and 51 - 43 percent post-debate; Ohio: Obama up 49 - 42 percent pre-debate and 50 - 42 percent post-debate; Pennsylvania: Obama ahead 49 - 43 percent pre-debate and 54 - 39 percent post-debate. Pre-debate surveys ended at 8 p.m. Friday with post-debate surveys Saturday-Monday.

More than 84 percent of voters in each state say the debate did not change their mind. But by margins of 13 to 17 percent, voters in each state say Obama did a better job in the debate. And by margins of 15 to 27 percent, independent voters in each state say Obama won."

"Dancing" Continues, Butt Not for Kim

Reality starlet and sex tape performer Kim Kardashian got her giant ass kicked off of "Dancing with the Stars" last night, after viewers noted that she had all the terpsichorean skills of a canned ham, and none of the grace. Now she can get back to more appropriate appearances on shows like "Celebrity Family Feud." Even dancing with last year's champ, Mark Ballas, couldn't save her ass.


An otherwise charming program of dance was interrupted by the lipsynched caterwauling of Jessica Simpson, who "performed" two songs from her new country album while wearing an outfit that made her look like she had just come from Paul Newman's funeral. Mercifully, she was not given time to talk.


Speaking of Simpson, last night also marked the 5-year anniversary of the esophogeal cancer death of O.J. Simpson friend and "attorney" Robert Kardashian, who was seen leaving O.J.'s Rockingham mansion with a suitcase on the morning of the murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. O.J.'s clothes were never found.


Many assumed that Cloris Leachman would be voted off the island, but the Kardashian trollop's infamous butt was wiped out by voters, allowing Cloris to return next week to do a jive with Corky Ballas, father of Mark (whose ability to mask embarrassment and frustration while dancing with the talent-free Kim should be acknowledged with a special Emmy).

Jennifer Hudson will be next week's musical guest.


See Also: The End Is Nigh and Cloris Eats Up Scenery